A message I got last night.

I only wanted to share this, to explain how quickly men can get the wrong idea.

Are used to host a TikTok live almost nightly. I was growing a following and had viewers and subscribers who would come watch everyday and support my page.

I didn’t do anything special. It was just a casual, “life live stream” doing normal stuff.

Most of my watchers were men , but the community that I grew was super cool. Everyone had really cool ideas and thoughts, and it wasn’t all just about my looks or body. They each grew connections and and friendships with each other other too, it was a actual super nice community.

After a few months, things started to get a bit toxic. I was getting messaged every day multiple people, everyone was asking for Snapchat or a phone number and wanted “to know me more.”

I had no problem with that but I only gave my number out to select people. Over that time. It seemed like people would get very clingy and always wanted me on live.

Unfortunately, it just wasn’t working for me anymore. Tik Toks didn’t seem to push my content, and I was getting reported by old “friends” alot who I would notice would join the live, and then all of a sudden I was getting notifications that I was banned. It just got exhausting; it was clear that some people didn’t want me on social media and I started to not want to be there myself.

When I stopped going live one of the guys who had my phone number asked me why I had — I explained to him that I wasn’t gonna be doing it anymore for personal reasons, that would be an explanation, but it wasn’t.

I explained to him that I won’t be answering anymore. Text messages, unless family related. We never talked consistently anyways, we would chat here and there but just on a “how are ya” basis. Never flirty or anything relationship related. I even explicitly mentioned I’m not looking for anybody.

— he continue to spam messaged me, between 10pm-2am. I deleted those messages, and went on with my day. He then spammed me again the next day.

I ignored it again, because this is a grown man and he heard what I said. He called me 3 times one night and kept saying he was checking if I blocked him.

This morning, I woke up to these text messages. Reading these at 5 AM is exhausting. And I cannot stress how much I do not appreciate it after I explained my need for solitude and he is now blocked! I don’t know why I didn’t do it before.. I just didn’t think it would have to result in that

#texts #men #shareyourthoughts #unfiltered

2024/4/18 Edited to

... Read moreIt's truly unsettling to read an experience like this, and it hits home for so many of us who've put ourselves out there online. That feeling of waking up to messages that cross every line, after you've clearly stated your boundaries – it’s not just annoying, it’s a violation. The thought process behind those 'just curious' messages, like the one you shared, often masks a deeper disregard for someone else's autonomy. One of the hardest parts of online content creation is navigating the blurred lines between genuine support and obsessive behavior. You start with a great community, people you genuinely connect with, and then gradually, you notice shifts. A comment that was once flattering might become a little too personal, a request for contact info turns into persistence. It's a slippery slope. Many of us have felt that pressure, wondering if we were 'too nice' or 'too supportive,' as that message implies. But let's be clear: someone else's inability to respect a 'no' is never a reflection of your kindness. It's a reflection of their own entitlement. Recognizing these red flags early on can be tough, especially when you're genuinely trying to foster a positive space. But when you start seeing phrases like 'So just ghost me till I go away huh?' or accusations like 'tell me what turned you off?', these aren't requests for clarification; they're manipulative tactics designed to make you feel guilty and respond. The idea that someone would ask if they were 'too nice' or suggest you should have treated them 'like every other little boy' is a classic attempt to flip the script and make you responsible for their feelings and actions. It's emotional blackmail, pure and simple. Setting boundaries online, especially when you've shared a part of yourself, feels incredibly vulnerable. It's easy to second-guess yourself, thinking, 'Maybe I led them on?' or 'Did I somehow give the wrong impression?' But your personal space, your time, and your decisions are yours alone. If you decide to stop going live or limit communication, that's your right. It doesn't require a detailed explanation or negotiation. And if someone can't accept that, blocking them, as you eventually did, is not just a valid choice; it's a necessary act of self-preservation. I've learned that you don't owe anyone continued access to your life, no matter how much they've supported your content. It’s hard to cut ties, especially when you remember the positive aspects of the interaction. But when someone repeatedly disrespects your expressed wishes, when 'curiosity' becomes incessant messaging between 10 PM and 2 AM, or calling multiple times to 'check if you blocked them' – that's harassment. It drains your energy and makes you question your presence online. For anyone experiencing something similar, remember these things: You are not responsible for their feelings. Their reaction to your boundaries is their responsibility, not yours. Blocking is a powerful tool. Don't hesitate to use it. You don't need permission to protect your peace. Document everything. Screenshots of messages, call logs – these can be important if you ever need to report further. Talk about it. Sharing your experience, like you did, helps others feel less alone and can offer valuable perspectives and support. Prioritize your mental health. If engaging online becomes a source of anxiety or fear, it's okay to step back, take a break, or even leave platforms. It's a tough lesson to learn, but sometimes, the best way to handle 'curiosity' that turns toxic is to simply remove yourself from the equation. Your well-being comes first, always.

82 comments

BeyondTheMinds10's images
BeyondTheMinds10

It's crucial to set clear boundaries in online interactions. It's okay to step back for personal peace and block those who don't respect your space. Your well-being comes first.🥰

Flux's images
Flux

Weird how some people are trying to blame this person for the result when it can happen even between someone you've known for much longer. Sure it's always smart to exercise proper Internet safety but to blame his actions on them is wrong. Offer positive solutions, not hate, like the person who mentioned an alt phone #

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