Open mic night was great, here’s my newest poem.
TW: mentions of domestic violence
Head in the clouds
I used to think he would go to the ends of the earth and back for me.
I thought he was misunderstood and underneath all of the anger he was kind.
I fully understand why domestic abuse survivors always say
“But they love me”
“He didn’t mean it”
“She said she’s sorry, it’s not going to happen again”
“I just need to be more careful”
I used to think he loved me with every fiber of his being.
I think he truly believed that he loved me. But he didn’t, not really.
You don’t hurt the ones you love.
I used to think I was going to marry him someday, even hope at times.
No one around me knew the full extent of his temper, but even so they begged me to leave.
And I did, time and time again, but I always went back
Because he promised it would be different and he would change.
It always got better for a little while, but then I would get comfortable
And so would he
Then the cycle began again.
It went on like that for over three years
156 weeks of flinching at every sudden movement
More than one thousand days of wanting to run and hide if someone raised their voice, even a little bit
Until one day something in me switched and I started to see things clearly
The brain is a very powerful thing, mine has protected me by clouding my memory from before I was even able to read.
It wasn’t until recently that the flash backs started and there fog started to lift.
It’s painful, but I know that it means I’m finally safe.
-rm
Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects countless individuals. In the United States, approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. Understanding the complexities of emotional and psychological abuse is crucial for survivors seeking healing. This poem captures the internal conflict faced by many, revealing the cycle of hope and disappointment frequently found in abusive relationships. With themes of love intertwined with pain, it shines a light on the struggle to break free from toxic patterns. It’s vital for survivors to know they are not alone in their experiences and that help is available. Resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offer support and guidance for those seeking to escape violent situations and begin their healing journeys. Informative websites and local shelters provide essential information on what steps to take when leaving an abusive partner and how to heal afterwards. Poetry, like the one shared here, can be a therapeutic way for survivors to articulate their emotions, making sense of their experiences and fostering connections with others who have walked similar paths.