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I don’t know if I love you or if I wish I love you. But I must love you, right? Because this pain it’s not shallow. It’s not fake. It claws at me. Every day. If I didn’t love you, why would I feel like I’m falling down a well with no bottom?
That’s what it feels like falling. And I don’t even know when it started. How long have I been in freefall? How did I even end up here, in this dark, cold place? There wasn’t even light before I fell, so I can’t remember what it was like to not be lost.
And through all of it, the only thing I want truly want is to be there for you. But I wasn’t. And now I can’t be. And it’s killing something inside me.
I’m not even sure who I am anymore. I feel like I’m not me… but I am me. Or at least, the version everyone else sees. Cool. Funny. Someone people look up to. But underneath? I’m cold. Hard to please. Selfish. Greedy. Hateful. And God I wish I could be numb. I wish I could feel nothing, instead of this burning inside me.
But I do feel. I feel everything. And mostly what I feel is the ache of knowing I failed you. That I destroyed something beautiful. That you probably don’t even love me anymore and that maybe I don’t deserve it if you did.
Still, I needed you to know this. Even if you never read it. Even if it changes nothing.
I’m still falling.
But somewhere in the fall, there’s still love.
Maybe not the kind you can take back. But the kind that mourns you forever.
Love,
Lover boy
In moments of heartache and reflection, poetry often serves as a powerful outlet for our emotions. The phrase 'Hardest lesson Of all, Is trying to Find a home, Without the Person who Felt like Home,' resonates deeply for many who have experienced love and loss. Finding a sense of belonging often becomes intertwined with our relationships. When we navigate feelings of separation, it’s crucial to acknowledge that the pain we feel is valid, a reflection of love’s intensity. This article sheds light on using poetry to articulate feelings of loneliness and longing. Such expressions not only help to process complex emotions but also provide comfort in knowing that others share similar experiences. Whether you’re writing your own poetry or reading works by others, the need for connection remains a universal desire, often discovered through the written word. The act of falling, whether in love or despair, captures the complexities of human emotion, reminding us that in our fall, we can still find beauty. Join the conversation around poetry about love and loss on platforms dedicated to emotional expression and discover how art can help us heal.
