Diary Entry #6 💔
I am completely heartbroken. Yesterday was her first year photos which I wanted to do a smash cake at the park… well that didn’t happen.
She has not stopped with her separation anxiety, she cries and screams whenever I put her down. I put her down on the white tablecloth for maybe two seconds and she started screaming and crying as if I just killed her whole entire family.
My photographer couldn’t get one photo taken, not a single one…and that completely broke me. Not only is this her first birthday; it’s also my first year as a mom. So I wanted it to be special for both of us. My photographer said we can try another day but I feel like it’s just gonna be the same... I called my husband crying in the car, telling him how disappointing it was. He said we could do our own photos with her and it’ll be okay, she’s going through a phase and tough time. I just exhaled.
Fast track to this morning, she started crying when I put her down so I can make myself a coffee. I couldn’t handle it. So I walked into our room and gave her off to my husband and said “I can’t do this right now.” and walked away. I rage cleaned the entire kitchen and mop the floors. After that, I was calm enough to be with her.
This can’t be normal, the separation anxiety, am I just crazy? Do all babies do this? If so, wtf?????? #exhaustedmom #ppd #postpartumdiary
Separation anxiety in infants is a common developmental phase that typically begins around six to eight months and may peak between 10 to 18 months of age. It occurs as babies start to recognize who their caregivers are and fear being separated from them. While it can be challenging and emotionally draining, it is a normal part of child development rather than a sign that something is wrong. For new mothers, especially during the first year, the emotional toll can be significant. Postpartum depression (PPD) and exhaustion may exacerbate feelings of frustration and sadness when dealing with a baby’s persistent crying and clinginess. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and seek support from loved ones or healthcare professionals when needed. Sharing experiences, such as through diary entries or support groups like #exhaustedmom and #ppd communities, can help normalize these struggles and provide much-needed encouragement. In moments when traditional plans—such as a first birthday photoshoot with a smash cake at the park—do not go as hoped due to the child’s distress, parents can consider alternative approaches. For example, informal home photoshoots focusing on capturing candid moments may be less stressful for both baby and parent. Flexibility and patience are key during this sensitive time. Additionally, managing overwhelming emotions by using productive outlets, like cleaning or other physical activities, can help calm distressed parents. It is also essential to communicate openly with partners to share caregiving responsibilities, as seen when the mom entrusted her husband to help during a difficult moment. Understanding that this challenging phase is temporary and seeking professional advice if feelings of depression or anxiety intensify is crucial. Resources like pediatricians, therapists specializing in postpartum support, and parenting counselors can offer strategies and reassurance. Remember, moments of despair do not mean you are failing; instead, they highlight the tremendous effort involved in motherhood and the importance of self-care and community support. Keywords: separation anxiety, postpartum depression, first year of motherhood, baby crying, managing overwhelm, new mom support, toddler separation anxiety, infant development, parenting challenges, emotional wellbeing.
I wonder if this is because of the teething? Have you tried celery or carrots for her to gum on?