Changing Course...Life Update
So, I was 2 classes away from my associate in human services at my community college. BUT...I decided to change majors once I realized that the people aspect wasn't for me. And I couldn't see myself doing this frfr. The last two classes were internships, and I couldn't continue because the only time I succeeded in this major was when I was able to do online classes with the camera off and no group projects or in person classes for people to try to attach themselves to me and leech me dry. I had one girl who KEPT trying me and KEPT trying to get me to be her "answer" or "do my work" person. I guess, she thought I could be played with or used/abused. But I curved her so hard and so politely that she tried to do that bs where she tried to be my "friend" bc I saw through HER bullshit. She knew she was dead wrong.
When I got to the human services/social work internship, I just saw all these women that I knew I would have to deal with that were like the girl that made me realize I LOVE online/non personal classes. ALL of the women were like that girl in some form or other except for one. There was only one woman i liked. She said something that was like an epiphany for me: She said that her husband didn't want her to do this major bc she doesn't do well with people. And when the other girls tried to ask her about her classes, etc. she told them she doesn't do in person classes (like me) bc she hates people and that she does online only.
The signs were there.
I felt that statement was leading me to the direction I needed to take, bc out of everything that was said that day, I could only think about what that woman i liked had said.
Then, on the actual day of my internship, I got paired up with this girl who told me she was dying because this was the longest she had went without hitting her vape/smoking weed. And this other woman who I think also smoked weed/etc. made a BIG show of choosing the girl i was paired with to be her partner over me. Again, as if I don't know game. But I was looking at them like idgaf, PLEASE choose this girl and not me 😂. You are not hurting my feelings or being slick/sliding with the shade. I catch it, but drop that shit right where you thought you were being slick at bc I DO NOT CARE.
It wasn't hard to reflect and just realize I had walked through the wrong door. So, I went ahead and left. Changed my major...and was out.
So, I switched my major to Social Science instead. I have about 7 classes to finish my associates now that I changed my major. But that's ok. Because I have been doing school now for ten plus years. I am in no rush. If I get it, I get it. If I don't, it's ok. It's just a passion project at this point tbh. And community college is built for unconventional students. So, I have nothing but time as long as I choose to keep going or want to.
If I get my associates, I will try to get my bachelor's online in general studies. It's just about wanting the pieces of paper for myself. No one else. I would personally like to get higher than a High School education. I am treating pursuing this like how one would treat buying a pair of rare shoes or collecting a rare passion item.
Also, fast forward in my life...I tried to switch from CNA/Caregiving to Behavioral Health Aide at a drug recovery center. I thought it would be the right thing for me, especially because at the time I was also two classes away from my Associate in Human Services.
But it was literally hell on earth. The people were messy 😂 I got cussed out so many times. And this one girl who was a resident (and I think also had a intellectual disability bc she acted like a bratty preteen despite being 20 or 30 years old) thought she could bully me or mean girl me all bc I had to interrupt her from having boundary violations with a male resident. She thought i was "hating" on her 😐 due to her hearing about the night before when i tried my best to quit-justification (haha. get it? instead of relapse-justification...i as the staff was trying to quit-justification 🥲😂). anyway, she was being slick and making fun of me, but I watched in real time how she tried to come for me but I took that bs and had all the other residents entertaining me whilst she was trying to be the one in the spotlight. And I watched from the corner of my eye as she deflated. Lmfaooo. 😭 She was definitely bpd 😳 and craved attention. I tried to be nice, but I also got hit with the epiphany that maybe empaths should NOT work in fields where we have to "save" others. Bc WE CAN NOT SAVE THEM. We need to be in places that DO NOT require us to self sacrifice or have to even give any ounce of empathy lmao.
The women at the job were the same as the girls who were in Human Services/Social Work 🤦♀️. And they also kept trying me, too. Idk why some people think that i don't can't catch what they're putting down. I can catch shade and bs too.
One thought she was throwing shade by saying that another girl would "snatch my hat off". lowkey throwing shade/aggression but trying to treat it as a "joke". 😐 all bc I made a correct call of a resident having alcohol in their perfume (which they are not supposed to have) and she was the one that let it slip. so, she felt some type of way ig even though i DID NOT have beef with her. But I just flipped ts (once again) and started talking about natural hair bc ig she and the other girl thought I was hiding my hair bc I am "bald headed" as the other girl said. And I said "No, I am growing out my afro". Then the one who thought she was being slick initially has a fro, and the one who was trying to cosign had locs. So, even though they wanted to, they couldn't be "on" one with me. Bc now the conversation shifted to our shared identity in natural hair. 😭 The instigator even ended up shifting her energy (i felt it in the moment).
But I quit the job yesterday. And the human resources woman was cool about it. she was very kind to me. Bc I was like "sorry i am taking the walk of shame"/quitting as I turned in my things. And she was like "No, it's good that you figured it out now rather than just staying and forcing yourself to be unhappy" etc.
So, I'm back to doing CNA/Caregiving. I have a interview lined up on Tuesday. And I'll start taking classes again for my new major in the summer.
Also, I broke up with a toxic ex again for the millionth time since 2022. I did it yesterday. So, here marks day one of seeing how long I can go in freedom from him. Here's to it 🍻🥂🙌. And I made it to three months on my natural hair growth journey. We'll see how long I go for that, too. The goal is waist length natural hair. I want to grow my own hair, and I don't want to use any protective styles. Just thug it out. Which, so far so good. Here's to life! 🥺🖤🍻🥂
Changing your major or career path can be a daunting yet liberating experience, especially when you realize that the initial choice doesn’t align with your true interests or well-being. Like the author, many students face the challenge of discovering that their chosen field, such as Human Services, may involve intense interpersonal demands that can drain their energy, particularly if they prefer settings like online classes where they control their engagement. Switching to Social Science offers a broader exploration of society, economics, psychology, and political science, which provides tools to understand and influence decision-making and social policies without the high-touch people management encountered in some human services roles. This can be especially appealing for individuals who identify as empaths or introverts and wish to study societal systems without direct caregiving or social work roles that may lead to emotional burnout. The author’s reflection on experiences with internships and caregiving jobs highlights common workplace dynamics, including dealing with toxicity and boundary testing—a reality not uncommon in social service fields. For many, recognizing these challenges early and choosing a path better suited to their personality and goals is an essential step toward long-term satisfaction and career sustainability. Moreover, the author’s commitment to continuing education over many years demonstrates the value of viewing learning as a personal passion project rather than a race. This mindset removes the pressure to achieve credentials rapidly and emphasizes growth, self-fulfillment, and adaptability. The supplementary insights about quitting a toxic relationship and pursuing a natural hair growth journey resonate with many readers who appreciate authenticity and resilience in personal development. These elements reinforce that life updates often encompass both academic and personal dimensions, reflecting the holistic nature of growth. Ultimately, the takeaway is empowering: it’s okay to pivot, prioritize your needs, and design a unique educational and career pathway that aligns with your strengths and happiness. Community colleges and online programs offer flexible opportunities for unconventional students, making lifelong learning accessible and tailored to individual journeys. Embracing this can lead to richer experiences and deeper self-understanding while preparing for future goals, whether that’s a bachelor’s degree or professional growth beyond traditional roles.