choose your wave

That little cafe wall in Portugal truly held a gem of wisdom that I’ve carried with me ever since. The quote, 'Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf,' immediately resonated with me. It’s such a simple yet profound way to look at how we experience life and its many emotional currents. Think about it: just like ocean waves, emotions are constantly in motion. They swell, they crest, and they eventually recede. We can’t command the tide or stop a storm from brewing. Similarly, we can't always control what emotions arise within us. Sadness, anger, joy, anxiety, excitement – they arrive, sometimes unbidden, sometimes overwhelming, often without our conscious invitation. For a long time, I used to fight my feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones. I'd try to push them away, pretend they weren't there, or even blame myself for feeling them. But this quote helped me understand that accepting their arrival is the first crucial step. It's okay to feel. It's human. Trying to suppress them is like trying to hold back the ocean – an exhausting and ultimately futile endeavor. This is where the real power lies: 'we can choose which one to surf.' While we can't control the wave's appearance, we absolutely can choose our response to it. Do we get pulled under by the rip current of anger? Do we let the cresting wave of anxiety crash over us completely, leaving us gasping for air? Or do we learn to paddle, to maneuver, and to ride it out with grace and skill? For me, 'choosing which one to surf' means consciously deciding how I engage with an emotion. It means acknowledging the feeling without letting it consume me entirely. So, how do we actually 'surf' these emotional waves in our daily lives? Mindfulness: Just observing the feeling without judgment. Noticing its intensity, where I feel it in my body, and reminding myself that, like all waves, it will pass. This practice is like finding my stable footing on the surfboard before the wave hits. Breathing: Deep, conscious breaths can be an immediate anchor when a strong emotion hits. It helps regulate my physiological response and provides a moment to choose my next move. Reframing: Instead of saying 'I am angry,' I try 'I am feeling anger.' This subtle shift creates a little distance, allowing me to observe the emotion rather than being it. What is this anger trying to tell me? What underlying need isn't being met? Action, not Reaction: If a wave of frustration comes, instead of snapping at someone, I might take a short walk, put on some music, or write down my thoughts. That's choosing how to surf the wave constructively, rather than letting it crash destructively. Seeking Support: Sometimes, the waves are simply too big to surf alone. Talking to a trusted friend, a family member, a therapist, or even writing in a journal is like having a life raft or a seasoned surf instructor by your side. Embracing Vulnerability: This quote, and my experience with it, has really helped me embrace vulnerability. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. It’s okay to feel the difficult waves. The strength comes from learning to navigate them, not from pretending they don't exist. It's about building resilience, one wave at a time. This simple wisdom from a cafe wall in Portugal truly changed my outlook. Life will always throw us waves – exhilarating, calm, challenging, and everything in between. The true art of living, I believe, is learning to be a skilled surfer, choosing your wave, and finding grace even in the choppiest waters. It's a continuous journey of self-discovery and emotional navigation, but what a ride it can be when you learn to choose your wave.