Quarter life crisis or just life?✨

A real vulnerable post🫶🏼

I’m in my quarter life crisis. And not the cute kind.

Not the “I bought a plane ticket to Europe to find myself” kind.

The “I quit my 9-5 to be a stay-at-home mom and now I’m drowning in responsibilities and barely scraping by on one income” kind.

But here’s what haunts me:

I have a dual degree. I triple majored. I graduated in three years. I put myself through college, and graduated debt free. I did that.

I was supposed to do something. I was supposed to make something of myself.

And for the past three years, I’ve felt worthless. Like my degrees mean nothing.

Like I worked so hard for a future that never arrived.

Like I’ve failed—because I’m not making six figures, or even 50k.

I started my own business to feel like me again. To chase something that’s mine. But I haven’t landed a single client yet. The silence makes me question everything—am I good enough? Did I mess up? Am I just pretending to be capable?

I love my children more than life itself. But some days, I miss me. And in the chaos of parenting, financial stress, and running a household, my relationship is hanging on. We’re stressed. We’re tired. We’re in the same boat, life feels like it just keeps knocking us down. It feels like we have no time to dedicate to each other, and I hate that. We will come out of this stronger, because our love is strong.

My weight is fluctuating. My clothes fit differently. My mirror feels like an enemy some days. But I’m trying to be kind to myself. I’m trying to accept my body instead of punishing it like I did for years. I’m scared of relapsing into my eating disorder—but I’m fighting. Every. Day. Even if that means snacking, rather than missing a meal completely.

And then there’s my only parent—the one I’ve held space for through their battle with mental illness.

Recently, I learned I have Stockholm Syndrome. That I’ve normalized emotional abuse for so long, I didn’t even recognize how much I’ve been harmed.

That realization wrecked me.

It’s a strange thing—mourning a childhood you didn’t really have, while still being hurt by the person you’re trying to protect. Or even better, being hurt by the person who should be protecting you from birth to the remainder of their/your life.

I’m navigating the trauma of my past and the trauma that’s still happening in real time. Verbal and Physical attacks. The kind of pain you don’t post about because you don’t want to sound like a victim.

But I am a victim. And I’m also a survivor.

I’m trying to let both truths exist. The justice and healthcare system are extremely flawed, especially with mental illness, and on top of that, geriatrics. We feel lost, we feel guilty, that's the Stockholm's. It's not our fault, we were just kids.

Knowing I need help, and to maintain my health. While not having health insurance because our system is flawed and unaffordable.

Most days, I cry.

Not once.

Multiple times.

In the shower. In the car. At the sink while washing dishes.

I cry because I’m tired. Because I feel stuck. Because I don’t know how much more I can hold.

I’m healing from things I never should have had to survive.

While still trying to show up as a mom, a partner, a sister, a daughter, and a business owner.

And some days, just surviving feels like a full-time job.

But if you’re here too—crying in silence, scrolling for something that feels real—I want you to know this:

You are not broken.

You are carrying too much.

And it’s okay to fall apart when no one’s watching.

I’m still here. Still fighting. Still hoping.

Even when hope feels heavy.

#QuarterLifeCrisis #MomLifeUnfiltered #MentalHealthAwareness #StockholmSyndromeSurvivor #TraumaHealing #EmotionalAbuse #BurnoutRecovery #EatingDisorderSurvivor #CryingInSilence #HealingIsNotLinear #EntrepreneurStruggles