I cannot be chill 😂

Being a parent to a child with autism often means living in a heightened state of vigilance. From my personal experience, it’s not a matter of choosing to be calm or 'just relaxing'; rather, it’s about the constant mental and emotional balancing act of anticipating needs, preventing meltdowns, and managing sensory overload. That phrase, 'you just need to relax,' can feel dismissive because it overlooks the depth of care involved. Everyday is filled with strategies—regulating environment, being ready to switch gears, preparing for social situations—that demand energy and focus. For me, it meant learning to find small moments of peace in chaos, like connecting to nature during a walk or practicing mindfulness while my child is engaged in a calm activity. Support groups and talking to other autism parents helped me understand this shared experience and feel less isolated. Accepting that 'chill' moments might look different for autism parents has been liberating. It’s not about not trying to rest, but about recognizing that the mental workload is very real. Also, sharing this openly helps friends and family be more empathetic and provide meaningful help rather than offering simplistic advice. For parents in similar situations, I encourage embracing self-compassion and seeking out communities that truly understand the unique challenges.