A Coffee Date with the Girl I Used to Be
I sat with my younger self today and had coffee.
She was 20 minutes late; I was early.
She rushed in, flustered but smiling, and ordered a peppermint mocha Frappuccino. I did too. Some things never change.
She was in her third year of nursing school, chasing a dream. She loved it, she was good at it. But she didn’t know yet that she wouldn’t finish. Not because she couldn’t, but because he wouldn’t let her.
I wanted to tell her to run. To hold on tighter to her dreams, to fight for herself. But I knew she wouldn’t listen, not yet. She didn’t see the cage she was in. Not until much later.
She felt like her family judged her, like they didn’t understand. They didn’t know what happened behind closed doors. How promises she made when she was little were stollen from her. I told her they know the truth now. God always knew our heart.
She asked about our friends. Back then, she had so many. Now, we don’t see any of our nursing friends, but we have a few close ones. One, our best friend, has been by our side since middle school. Through every season, every heartbreak, every victory.
She hesitated, then asked, "Did we ever get married?"
I smiled gently. "We aren’t married anymore. We are DV survivors."
Her face fell. I reached for her hand. "We got out. We are safe now."
Then she asked, "Did we have kids?"
I felt my breath catch. "We had four miscarriages," I told her. Her eyes welled with tears. "But," I added, my voice steady, "we have the most amazing rainbow now."
I watched her take it all in-processing, grieving, hoping.
Before she left, I reached for her hand once more. "You are stronger than you know. The road ahead won’t be easy, but you survive. And one day, you thrive."
She smiled, wiping her eyes. "Thank you."
I nodded. "I love you. Keep going." ❤️
Reflecting on our past can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. In today's fast-paced world, it’s essential to take a moment to pause and consider who we were and how it has shaped our present. Many individuals find comfort in revisiting significant life moments, such as reflecting on relationships, ambitions, and setbacks. This process can reveal hidden strengths and remind us of the progress we've made. A common theme in personal reflection is grappling with the regrets of not pursuing certain dreams or making decisions under pressure. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings while also recognizing that each experience contributes to our unique narrative. As we reminisce about our younger selves, we can learn to embrace vulnerability and find healing. Engaging with our past can also help us foster a stronger connection with ourselves, leading to more mindful living today. Consider journaling or even envisioning a conversation with your younger self. What advice would you offer them, and what lessons can you carry forward? These discussions can promote inner peace and clarity, aiding in the journey of healing from any past traumas. Additionally, it’s helpful to seek support through friendship or community, as those connections can assist in navigating emotional landscapes. Remember, you are not alone, and sharing these narratives can provide strength not just for you but for others who resonate with your journey. Ultimately, every encounter—whether with our past selves or others—offers the opportunity for growth, understanding, and the relentless pursuit of a brighter future.
