What's One Parenting Decision You Would Undo?
If you could go back and redo one parenting decision, what would it be?
New parenting is all about learning on the fly. No one really knows what they are doing and we all just do the best we can with the information we have.
But as we do learn and grow we develop better parenting tools and make better choices. And that often leads to some regret over past decisions.
For me that decision would have to be my use of screen time when my older kids were little.
We utilized television from pretty much the beginning. First it was baby university, then it was buying our toddlers Fire tablets for Christmas. And once we found ourselves in the midst of Covid it was all over. They were tablet obsessed and it's been a battle ever since.
It's a constant fight now and I wish I would have never allowed them on the first place.
I am lucky though, because after almost 5 years we started again and had another baby. There is an 8 year gap between our oldest child and our youngest, and we have approached screens in a totally different way.
We waited until he was 2 before we introduced screens and while we do let him watch some shows he doesn't watch 24/7 like our older kids did at his age.
He also doesn't have a tablet and I don't let him use my phone. We do let him watch some shows on long car rides using one of those old fire tablets. But otherwise he spends his time playing with open ended toys.
And I can honestly say this had made a huge difference in his patience and temper, even though he is so much younger then the other children who become irritable, restless and have meltdowns when they can't use a device.
And I know what you are thinking. Just take them away. But it's not so easy to take away something you've allowed so long. Especially now that we've lost our only income. We can afford to go to camps, on trips or to even go swimming. We're stuck inside a house with no AC, no place to play, and no car to leave. It would be easier if they were little still but at this point their devices are the one thing we can give them.
I can only hope & pray that by next year things are better & we can afford to offer them more then a summer staring at a screen as their only means of entertainment.
What I do know is that once we have money coming in again I won't be so wasteful or quick to spend it on more screens. I now know the value of investing in activities, classes and camps. And I understand the risks that excessive screens have on children. It's not the gift I once believed it was, and see it as the curse it really is.
#parentingrealities #screenfree #parentingstyle #embracevulnerability #unfiltered
Reflecting on past parenting decisions reveals a common theme: many parents regret investing heavily in electronic devices instead of physical play equipment like scooters. Encouraging gross motor activities not only promotes physical health but also contributes to cognitive and social development in children. Research shows that open-ended play toys, such as building blocks, art supplies, and outdoor gear, nurture creativity and problem-solving skills more effectively than single-purpose toys or screens. Including children in daily chores and educational activities further fosters responsibility and practical learning. Limiting screen time, especially for young children, is crucial for developing attention span, patience, and social skills. Studies indicate that excessive device usage can lead to impatience and moodiness, as reflected in anecdotes comparing siblings with differing screen time habits. For families facing financial constraints or limited access to outdoor activities, fostering imaginative play at home becomes even more essential. Simple strategies such as planning educational games, involving children in household tasks, and investing in versatile toys like scooters can significantly benefit overall child development. Ultimately, making thoughtful parenting decisions about how children spend their time—favoring physical and educational engagement over screen exposure—can create lasting positive impacts. Starting these practices early and maintaining consistency helps build healthy habits and meaningful family bonding.
