Thoughts of me.
Everytime people say that they adore my independence, I just smile at them like I’ve heard it a hundred times. But at the back of my mind, there’s always this long pause—thinking of how sad it is that people adore me for my independence not knowing it was a defense I’ve come up with for my trauma of abandonment. You know, when you’ve been through a lot and no one was there for you, when people are used to you being the one needed rather than you needing someone, they tend to make you believe that you can handle everything on your own. And soon enough, even when you still don’t believe it, you learn to just accept it and live with it. When you have no one you learn to completely rely on yourself. You learn to build this extreme independence and master the life of not needing anyone. And since that’s the case for me, I always find it hard to consider their words as compliment.
- Ali
Artwork : feliciachiao (IG)
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Independence is often viewed as a virtue, yet it can also mask deeper emotional struggles, particularly for those with abandonment issues. Many individuals grow up believing they must be strong and self-sufficient due to experiences of neglect or lack of support. This facade of independence can lead to a profound sense of loneliness and difficulty in forming close relationships. In recognizing the pain behind this strong exterior, it is essential to understand the importance of community and vulnerability in healing. Sharing experiences can foster deeper connections, allowing those who feel isolated to find comfort in knowing they are not alone. By redefining what independence means, individuals can embrace both their strength and their need for connection, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Understanding the roots of your behavior can open doors to personal growth, emotional wellness, and healthier relationships.