That feeling of being the only one 'steering' a relationship, constantly 'running on E' while the other person casually says 'let's see where it goes,' is incredibly draining. I know it all too well. It’s the classic sign of being in a situationship, and trust me, it can take a huge toll on your self-worth. So, what exactly is the difference between a relationship and a situationship? Simply put, a relationship has clear definitions, mutual commitment, and a shared vision for the future. You discuss plans, introduce each other to friends and family, and there's an unspoken (or spoken!) understanding of exclusivity. A situationship, on the other hand, is like a relationship without the label or the future. It's often intimate, takes up emotional energy, but lacks commitment, clarity, and consistency. It’s like an airplane stuck on the tarmac, waiting for a destination that never gets announced, and you're the only one constantly checking the flight schedule. If you’re wondering if you’re the only one steering, here are some tell-tale signs I’ve learned to recognize: Vague Future Talk: Every conversation about the future is met with 'we'll see,' 'I'm just going with the flow,' or changed topics. There's no concrete planning. Inconsistent Communication: They pop in and out of your life, making you feel anxious and confused. You’re always waiting for their next move. Lack of Introduction: You haven't met their friends, family, or often feel like a secret. One-Sided Effort: You're always initiating texts, plans, and emotional investment. You're constantly 'running on E' trying to keep things afloat. Emotional Exhaustion: You feel more stressed and anxious than happy and secure. Your self-worth starts to dwindle because you're constantly seeking validation. It’s easy to get caught in this cycle. Maybe you really like them, or you’re hoping things will eventually change. We tell ourselves 'just a little longer,' or 'they're just busy.' But often, that's just us keeping the hope alive while we're the only ones putting in the work. The first step is recognizing what’s happening. Then, it's about reclaiming your power and nurturing your self-worth. Communicate Clearly: Have an honest conversation. Express your needs and ask for clarity. If they still dodge the conversation or give you vague answers, you have your answer. Remember, 'let's see where it goes' is their way of saying 'I'm not ready to steer with you.' Set Boundaries: Decide what you are and aren't willing to accept. If they can’t meet your needs for commitment, it’s time to consider walking away. Protection of your energy and self-worth is paramount. Prioritize Yourself: Shift your focus from trying to 'win' them over to focusing on your own happiness and growth. What makes you feel good? What do you deserve? Journaling has been incredibly helpful for me in processing these feelings. Try these prompts: 'What does a healthy, committed relationship look like to me?' or 'How does this situationship make me feel about myself?' Walk Away if Necessary: This is the hardest part, but sometimes the most liberating. You deserve someone who wants to steer the plane with you, towards a clear destination, not just hover on the tarmac indefinitely. By understanding the difference and valuing your own worth, you can stop 'running on E' in a situationship and start flying towards a relationship that truly fulfills you. You are worthy of a partner who co-pilots with you.