I found him cheated on me last night
I needed to use his phone to take a picture of a QR code so I could scan it on my phone
After I’m done I deleted that photo, and the next photo popped up was some woman’s selfie, there might be 3 in total as I glanced
I asked him immediately “who is this”
He got mad and all defensive he said, “I knew you were trying to search through my phone” “it’s just a friend”
I was not thinking about going through his phone at all
Then I said “why would you save a friend’s selfie”
He replied he didn’t know
I asked more questions later
He got annoyed and then started saying it’s all because I forced him to do things he didn’t want to do and we were arguing the whole time, and “she’s just right there”
I’m so hurt and disappointed
He said they didn’t have physical contact, but idk if it’s true
This is the man that was being very jealous when I had anything to do with other men, even though it was just thinking some guy looks good / liking some guy I don’t even know’s photo
He was cheated and betrayed before and cared a lot about honesty and loyalty
He said they were talking for over a month, that’s also about the time I felt weird about him but I never really believed he was cheating
I went to visit him on Saturday night, I was staying at his place for 3 days, and I found out this yesterday, on Tuesday
He was talking to her when I was there. When we were sleeping together. When I was sending him money buying him food and grocery. They were talking, right in front of my face.
Like damn. Am I that cheap
He was so mad at me when I wanted to hang out with my classmates that had 2 guys in it
How can he do this to me
And he doesn’t feel guilty at all, he didn’t apologize at all, that’s so weird to me…
He’s my first love too
He said he had never loved someone as much
He said he would do anything to protect me
I believed everything he said
I don’t know what to do now
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Hi girls, thank y’all for the comments. I understand it’s the best for me to leave in this situations. I was having silly hopes, until I confronted him 2 days after I found out he’s cheating on me. Because after that, he’s still texting me like nothing happened.
I asked him, “why are you talking to me like nothing happened, you do know that I’m hurt right”
He replied, he was just talking to her, he knew he shouldn’t do this but he really didn’t think anything was working out.
And then we were sending each other very long messages back and forth a bit, all in all he didn’t apologize at all, and was saying it’s my fault because I was trying to argue with him all the time. (Even tho I said so many times I’m not trying to argue… there were so many times I was crying and he just let me cry without doing anything. And it’s always when I want to address a problem he gets all defensive and stuff. It’s my first serious relationship I admit I’m not good at communicating about these too, but still… this shouldn’t be a reason to talk to other girl? And also it’s always me apologizing even tho it was me saying something he did upset me)
Anyways, I told him he’s free now, he can talk and do whatever with whoever he wants
Discovering betrayal is like having your entire world pulled out from under you. That moment of finding something on a phone, or noticing a subtle shift in behavior, can plunge you into a deep, dark place. The initial shock is often followed by a wave of denial, an urgent need to rationalize what you've seen or heard. 'It can't be true,' you tell yourself, 'there must be an explanation.' But deep down, a gut feeling whispers the truth. It's incredibly tough to navigate the emotional rollercoaster that follows. You might feel a mix of anger, profound sadness, confusion, and even self-blame. 'Was it something I did?' 'Could I have prevented this?' These questions are natural, but it's crucial to remember that a partner's infidelity is their choice and their responsibility, not yours. Your worth isn't tied to someone else's actions. The path to healing is rarely linear. It often involves painful conversations, confronting difficult truths, and making choices that feel impossible. Some people choose to try and rebuild trust, while others realize that the foundation of their relationship has been irrevocably broken. Both paths are valid, and both require immense courage. During this time, it's vital to lean on your support system. Talk to trusted friends or family, consider speaking with a therapist, or join online communities where others share similar experiences. Hearing different perspectives and knowing you're not alone can be incredibly validating. Focus on self-care – whether it's through simple acts like taking a long walk, listening to music, or journaling. Even when it feels like a storm is raging inside, finding small moments of peace can help you navigate through the emotional dark clouds. Looking back, sometimes there were subtle signs I might have overlooked, small inconsistencies or changes in behavior that, in hindsight, pointed towards something being amiss. Perhaps a sudden increase in secrecy around their phone, unexplained absences, or a shift in intimacy. These aren't always definitive proof, but they can be red flags. Learning to trust your intuition is a powerful tool in any relationship. Ultimately, processing betrayal is a journey towards rediscovering your strength and self-worth. It might feel like the end of something significant, but it can also be the painful beginning of a new chapter, one where you prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Just as a sunset sky transforms into a new day, healing is about finding light after a period of darkness, understanding that you deserve honesty and respect in all your relationships.
I would go no contact. Block and delete him on everything.