Anyone else feel like less of a woman because they didn’t have children or weren’t able to conceive? Sometimes I feel I’m missing out on some exclusive club or something in regard to womanhood. I’m 35 now and unlikely to have kids. I say I don’t want kids but deep down it makes me really sad sometimes 🥺 Any of you experience anything similar? #AskLemon8
It's quite common for women to feel a sense of loss or diminished identity when they do not have children or are unable to conceive. Society often places motherhood at the center of what defines womanhood, which can create a feeling of exclusion for those who don’t fit that narrative. These feelings may be intensified around milestones or social gatherings where parenthood is a frequent topic. The phrase "missing out on some exclusive club" captures this emotional experience well. It's important to recognize that womanhood is a diverse experience — being childfree, either by choice or circumstance, doesn’t make someone any less of a woman. Many find fulfillment and joy in other aspects of life such as career, friendships, hobbies, or alternative family structures. Acknowledging and validating your emotions, including the sadness that sometimes arises, is a healthy step toward self-acceptance. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be immensely helpful. Support groups, forums, and social networks offer safe spaces to express feelings without judgment. Talking candidly about these emotions can lessen feelings of isolation and help reframe the understanding of womanhood as more than just motherhood. Self-compassion and redefining personal identity beyond societal expectations can create space for healing and growth. Exploring creative outlets, passions, or mentorship roles may also help build a fulfilling sense of purpose and belonging. Remember, your worth and identity are not contingent on having children but are rooted in your unique qualities and life journey.

At 35 I thought I was unable to have kids. My husband and I tried for 2 years. Nothing. Never. And it was really hard for me to accept. There is a feeling of “less than”, but it just isn’t true. I have friends and coworkers that have had kids at 40. It’s not impossible and your life isn’t valued at if you have children. It’s valued on what you want and make it. Now as I write this I’m pushing 40 and I have two beautiful babies. Would I have another, no. But my value as a human didn’t change when I became a mother. It doesn’t change if you don’t. You are still valuable as a human.