A place I used to call home
I’m angry
Not because I’m spoiled.
Not because I’m entitled.
Because I’m robbed of something so special.
I want to return to you, explore you, experience your excitement but I can’t.
So much has happened there I don’t feel like I know if I could ever return to you or look at you the same.
There was so much suffering in silence, and now I relate that to you.
Some find it strange I’d avoid a whole state but it’s not just a state….it’s who’s there.
It’s what’s there
It’s what’s happened
The memories that haunt me in my sleep,
the little I get
The tears I cried alone
Hiding in the closet wishing someone would save me, help me
Wishing I could’ve been protected.
My innocence was taken away so young, and you saw that
But what could you do
You have eyes but no mouth
To many you are just a state
But to me you have so much life
Some days I want to be near you, other days I’m happy I ran away
Why would anyone want to return to memories of pain?
Day in and day out, fighting for some type of peace.
Crying wishing someone would hold me.
Begging them to stop
Desiring to be loved but all I got was cold remarks
Working night and day to avoid THEM
and more came with you..
Cutting, insomnia, fighting, moving, homelessness, abuse, trama, depression, suicidal ideation…….
…..& again suffering in silence…..
I ask myself:
“ why do I even want to return?”
But then I remember her…
The one who gave me life…
Still trapped in you
I long for her, and sometimes you but never him.
“try to remember the good” they say
I hate that..
With every corner that’s turned I see pain, I feel pain, I feel regret.
When will I ever see you again?
#griefpoetry #healthylifestyle2024 #Lemon8Diary #blackgirllemon8#lemon8challenge
Returning to a place once called home can evoke a myriad of emotions, especially if those memories are intertwined with pain and trauma. Many individuals grapple with similar feelings of sadness and loss when considering revisiting locations that hold deep significance. Therapy and support groups can play a crucial role in processing these emotions. Such safe spaces allow for discussion about grief, healing, and the bittersweet nature of memories. It’s essential to seek professional help when feelings of depression or trauma become overwhelming, as they can hinder one's ability to process the past. Additionally, engaging in mindful practices like journaling or meditation can provide comfort. By confronting these feelings head-on and placing emphasis on self-care, one can begin to reclaim their narrative and foster resilience in the face of pain. Healing isn’t linear, and everyone’s journey is unique, but sharing these experiences in communities, such as through platforms like Lemon8, can offer solace and connection to those navigating similar struggles.