I Had to Ask Myself: Who Taught Me to Believe That?
Culture has taught me a lot about who I was supposed to be.
What success should look like.
What a “good woman” should tolerate.
What relationships should look like.
How much of myself I should give to family.
When I should be married.
How my body should look.
How strong I should be.
Even what healing is supposed to look like.
And for a long time, I didn't realize how many of my expectations weren't actually mine.
They were inherited.
Some came from family. Some came from church. Some came from television, music, social media, relationships, and the communities I grew up around.
That doesn't automatically make those messages bad. Culture gives us identity, language, traditions, connection, and belonging.
But culture can also hand us expectations that deserve to be questioned.
As I've grown, I've started asking myself something simple:
Do I actually believe this, or have I just heard it so many times that it feels true?
That question has changed a lot for me.
Because sometimes growth isn't about rejecting where I come from.
It's about becoming intentional about what I carry forward.
I can appreciate what shaped me without allowing every message I received to define me.
I can honor tradition and still question unhealthy patterns.
I can love my community and still challenge ideas that no longer serve us.
And I can create new meaning for my life without disrespecting the people who came before me.
Culture shapes the narrative.
But I'm learning that I still get to examine the story, decide what belongs to me, and choose what I want to carry forward.
What's one belief you grew up accepting that adulthood made you question?
Dee Bloomingmoore 🌺
Growing up, I also found myself deeply influenced by the culture around me—expectations about what it means to succeed, how to maintain relationships, and even how my body should appear. Like many, I realized these weren't always my own beliefs, but inherited from family, media, and community. It took time and intentional reflection to separate what truly resonated with me from what was imposed. One moment that stands out is when I started asking, "Do I believe this because it’s true for me, or because it’s what I've been told over and over?" That question alone opened a pathway to more authentic living. It’s empowering to honor your roots without being constrained by every lesson they brought. Challenging cultural norms doesn’t mean rejecting your identity or disrespecting your heritage. Instead, it’s about thoughtful selection—embracing traditions that uplift you and gently letting go of patterns that no longer serve your growth. This process includes questioning societal pressure around milestones like marriage timing or body image and recognizing the diversity of experiences that define success and healing. From my journey, I learned that culture shapes our stories, but we hold the pen. We can create new narratives that reflect who we are now and who we wish to become. This approach allows for self-compassion as you navigate inherited beliefs, balancing respect for past generations with your present truth. If you’re reflecting on your own inherited beliefs, consider journaling the messages you’ve absorbed and noting which feel aligned with your values. Sharing these reflections with trusted friends or communities can also offer fresh perspectives and support. Through this exploration, you grow into your most authentic self, crafting a life narrative uniquely yours.