Part 16: Chaotic smokers
OMG YALL... NOT MY DR CALLING DHS ON ME CUZ MY SON WAS SMOKING ON HIS ULTRASOUND!
Yes I know it's crazy to me too!
Listen... Me and babe were low-key arguing all morning about not arguing.
I read somewhere if the child picks up on your arguments, he'll use the same stuff in his when he's grown.
Babe told be that's ridiculous and I was trying to TELL HIM I agreed.
But since he insisted on talking over me - I picked the right alil...
Well, it ended with me throwing a stiletto so hard its heel stuck in the wall.
Yeah, I know we're guys but we're GAY guys.
And I don't mind looking fancy when babe takes me out to eat and I've already got this huge stomach people stare at & stop mid chew to try and understand it.
So I wear heels & pregnant and all - i walk and could maybe run in these hoes if I wanted to.
Yeah I spoke as if I got them on right now. Maybe I do... Maybe I'm running with them on rn, typing this for you?!
Who knows.
Anyway, the shoe in the wall and babe slamming the front door saying
" IM GOING TO WORK TO GET MY SCHEDULE!!"
I knew he could look on his app but just needed a break.
I told him
"Fine. Go see your damn girlfriend then... I'll be gone when you get back"
But the door slammed about when I said 'when'.
I'm lowkey pissed off. He knows I got my ultrasound appt in 45 minutes & I wanted him to go. But I guess he'll be missing this one.
I hope up & throw on some booty shorts & a hoodie and some slides 😉
Lol, & quickly grab some bacon & eggs with ranch on 2 pieces of bread before I go.
He cooked and didn't even eat before he left cuz ig something got him riled up.
So I ate & looked for my keys.
And rq, Actually 3 & that was all of it even tho we was gonna eat together - Imma throw a fit like babe ate it & won't quit playing with me like he didn't. 💀💀
So I found my keys and put my dog Buddy in his crate with a kiss goodbye.
I pulled in 18 minutes early - as soon as he texted me also with
"Where'd you go? Where's your appt? I'll drive there myself."
I read it but didn't reply and within 2 minutes and while I'm waiting till 10 minutes early to go in - he texted again
"Babe we got to really not fight like this. I know our son is stressing. You got to relax sometimes."
I told him I'm too busy sobbing to talk or see to text & I'll be home when I can.
He didn't say anything.
I got in here and they quickly weighed me and said my blood pressure was alittle high.
Just 153/122. They had me sit down fast in a wheelchair.
Gave me some ice chips and asked if I was light-headed. I told them absolutely not, I was fine?
They wheeled me to a room I could've walked to in 10 steps & I get up and sit on the bed thing.
These two nurse people are staring at me in disbelief of some kind.
They eventually leave with saying
"One of us will be back momentarily for your ultrasound."
And the door shut...
Y'all I take a deep breath & not even two halves of three seconds later - the one that said that last at the door- tall blonde curly hair and Botox lips maybe mid 40s - comes rolling in with the ultrasound cart.
I almost out loud laughed and realized they were INTERESTED!
She gels me and gets to working around. I'm hearing his heart beat. I can barely see the screen she's looking at - but I catch enough.
Babies heartbeat is 222 bpm & she's looking nervous...
She goes
"Oh- Ohh my! Ur baby is... smoking?!?!"
She RAN OUT THE ROOM!
The cord thing that goes on ur belly she just let it go & two halves of 33 seconds later - OBGYN DR.GREENWALD in blonde's tow.
She said
"CLICK THE LAST SNAP! CLICK IT!!"
He looks at her like she's about to reveal a secret alien base in my womb.
He clicks it & says "hmm..."
Then:
"Jamie, can you give us a minute please?"
She says "sure doc"
And closes the door softly.
He rolls his cart up to the bed & says
"I've got to legally ask you:
Have you or someone you live with provided a minor with tobacco? Your baby is obviously smoking a Newport 100."
This man looking at me deadpan with an arm rested on his knee.
I say
"Sir... Uh. I can for sure say I haven't given him ANYTHING! You know how kids are nowadays! Doing anything to stay cool."
He says"yeah, that ain't going to work..."
Gets up and heads out the door with Jamie on the other side - ear up against an invisible door.
She was listening to all that.
Even worse - Dr screamed "get this pregnant man out of here & get Meredith from Oklahoma county DHS on the line NOW!"
She says "yes, doc"
I JUMPED UP AND WADDLE RAN TF OUT OF THERE QUICK!!
I made it home in two halves of 45 minutes cuz it was like 430pm.
Anyway, I instantly show babe this pic - which is the pic I took from the machine with my phone cuz IDK where I could've got this if they would've even given it to me.
He instantly lays his hand on my belly and says
"Son, no... No... Put that out! Why this??"
I'm bewildered at everyone's idea my baby has been highjacked by an addiction in my womb when I can't even sip wine without feeling like I'm spinning and sweating like I'm running track mid-summer.
Anyway, he told he it's probably cuz we been arguing so we agreed to take it easy a few days.
Which just means me laying off the dramatics. But hey, even you buy SOME of this gayboy pregnant delusional haze... Won't be long - I'll lyk what DHS Mrs. Meredith Bray has to say. 🤭😉😂
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Gayboy Pregnancy Chronicles
Storytime
This heartfelt account captures a unique and intense moment during pregnancy in a same-sex relationship, highlighting challenges that can arise unexpectedly in healthcare settings. The story underscores the reality that pregnancy experiences are diverse and complex, especially when navigating societal norms and biases. The term “pregnant man” is increasingly recognized as more transgender men and non-binary people experience pregnancy, calling for sensitivity and updated protocols in medical environments. This narrative challenges traditional pregnancy stereotypes and advocates for inclusive, respectful care that acknowledges patients’ identities. The ultrasound scene revealing a humorous yet confusing allegation about the unborn baby “smoking” draws attention to the importance of clear communication and understanding between patients and healthcare providers. Misinterpretations or unexpected medical observations can lead to stressful and even legally sensitive situations, such as the involvement of social services. Importantly, the story touches on the impact of stress and interpersonal conflict during pregnancy. Arguing “low-key” with a partner, as described here, can affect emotional wellbeing and blood pressure, which medical staff closely monitor. The mention of high blood pressure (153/122) is significant; it can be a warning sign for preeclampsia, a potentially serious pregnancy complication. This element reminds readers about the importance of prenatal care and managing stress. Additionally, the article illustrates the strength found in LGBTQ+ family dynamics, showing how partners support each other through struggles and misunderstandings. The vibrant, authentic voice reveals resilience, humor, and love, fostering empathy and awareness for diverse family experiences. For anyone facing a similar journey, sharing stories like this helps normalize challenges and opens conversation on topics like pregnancy in LGBTQ+ communities, managing conflicts, dealing with medical misunderstandings, and understanding the emotional and physical toll pregnancy can take. In summary, this narrative offers valuable insight into the delicate balance of health, identity, relationship dynamics, and the unexpected twists that can arise in pregnancy—making it both informative and deeply relatable for many readers.
