Part 17: Golden Corral dinner and a show
OMG YALL! My baby tried to grab a plate at Golden Corral!
I know it sounds crazy! But listen!
Me and babe were thinking of what to eat.
I'm always starving so I considered telling him a buffet but before I could he says
"Golden corral sound good? I know you can eat your weight in rolls so?"
Me doing my best to pick an angle.
He just called me fatass practically but I'm also pregnant with his son.
I immediately decide he's got a strike system I'll use...
That's strike one, so I just smile and tell him that sounds wonderful.
He tells me he really loves me & I'm glowing!
He's driving my old hooptie and whole time - hes got my hand in his. Off and on singing songs that are playing low on the radio.
We pull up and he tells me he'll be right around.
He opens my door and I wedge my way out the best possible.
He has my hand in his but its like he's cheesing and doing the presidental wave at 2 old people and a couple with a screaming toddler.
Except they're all inside - paying us no attention....
Yeah I'm saying huh too cuz why?!
I jerk his hand with mine to indicate I need more strength from him.
Hell, I'm 26 weeks pregnant & he's over here acting like them girls on price is right that show off the prizes...
I guess Ill let it go but I decided to give him a second strike when he gets me out & snickers & said
"Oh, all of a sudden you don't like a show?"
Like having just read my mind about the strikes, he comments that.
But, he knows when I do the strikes - 3 strikes?
Scene from a gayboy pregnant queen like you've never seen.
Depends on scenario, circumstance, & setup.
If it's just me and him? Light drama. Usually hold over till he gets 3 in public.
Tonight? If he makes it to 3? Golden corral will be on the news tomorrow for me falling out from the crawdads giving me salmonella... Or worse.
Anyway, we make our way in and he pays.
They make our drinks & we picked a little table off in the corner, slightly by the old couple I seen walking earlier.
I kiss him & we head off for our plates...
I grabbed 2 more after he rounded the corner cuz one plate alone was for my brussel sprouts &/or spinach with ranch all over it.
Plus I'm getting to make a meatloaf, Mac & cheese, & cottage cheese mini sandwich with the rolls & butter. The third, I didn't make it to...
I sat my plates down near the dessert & was reaching for brownies to dip in the chocolate fountain when I heard
A ripping sound & a baby voice say "bitch, get me a sirloin medium well before I lay on ur stomach all night"
Loool jk that second part was made up. 💀
But anyway, I ripped open somewhere then I seen under my hoodie - near my belly button- movement...
I instantly raised my shirt cuz wtf & y'all just like in the pic... That's how it still is...
My man just so happened to be coming around with his 2 plates and saying
"Babe- can you get me a brow- wtf is that?!"
And down goes Frasier...
He fainted AGAIN & here I am with everyone now circling around me - even some phones out for pics.
I get on top of babe and pull him up with his shirt near me stomach & yell with a full slap to his face with my free hand:
"You get to leave me EVERYTIME there's something slightly not normal about OUR child & UR WIFE'S PREGNANCY!! THATS IT!! STRIKE 3!!"
By now he was coming to - completely unaware of why I was standing over him like that and also why he had mashed potatoes and white gravy on his forehead.
I pull him up and the hand slightly touches him and OUT LIKE A LIGHT AGAIN!!
Now we've got a full crowd. Some filming..
Margaret - the old lady that was gonna sit by us tells her husband Bill in a whisper during all the chaos
"I knew his wave was too female proper..."
And they old rich people laughed at us as I had slung my husband over my shoulder - pregnant and all.
The crowd following us to our car and someone yells out
"The ambulance and police are on the way! You need help!"
I yelled back
"I'm going to the EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT NOW SWEET CHEEKS!"
and with a wave of a fake smile and me jumping in the driver seat - I quickly left & hopped on my phone.
Opened Google maps cuz I'm finding the next nearest Golden Corral AND THEN ILL GO to the ER.
Babe starts waking up asking what's going on - I hid my stomach ALL THE WAY til we got home when, well honestly I forgot ALL ABOUT IT til I went to get in the shower.
Literally screamed after pulling my shirt off in the mirror & babe came rushing in...
Standing at the doorway - he says
"Oh yeah!"
And begins to faint so I immediately grab him under his arms before his falls and use his momentum going down to quickly slide him to the bed.
I barely made it but he's in bed & hopefully for the night.
I'm taking a shower & after I eat my take home plate I might go see what they say Tonight....😭💀
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Gayboy Pregnancy Chronicles
Storytime
Eating out while pregnant can be an unpredictable adventure, especially when craving hits hard and emotions run high. Golden Corral, known for its extensive buffet options, becomes the perfect spot for satisfying pregnancy hunger with its variety of comfort foods like rolls, meatloaf, mac and cheese, and fresh vegetables such as Brussels sprouts and spinach. Buffets often provide pregnant individuals the freedom to choose bites that will soothe their particular cravings, making dining experiences more enjoyable and personalized. The concept of 'strikes' playfully used in the story reveals the dynamics of relationships during pregnancy, where humor and patience are key. Having a partner who's considerate and affectionate, even when teasing, can make a big difference. Physical support is also important; for example, when fainting occurs due to pregnancy-related challenges, the partner's quick response in providing care and comfort is essential. Golden Corral’s atmosphere—family-friendly and sometimes bustling—adds an extra layer of experience. Meeting other diners' curious glances or enjoying moments of lighthearted public attention can make the outing memorable. Pregnant individuals should always listen to their bodies and have a plan when feeling unwell, like knowing the nearest emergency room or having transport readily available. For anyone expecting or dining with pregnant loved ones, the story highlights the importance of empathy, humor, and flexibility during meals. Pregnancy cravings and symptoms vary greatly, so choosing a venue with diverse food options like a buffet can provide a satisfying and less stressful experience. Making memories—whether calm or chaotic—creates stories worth sharing that strengthen bonds and provide laughter for years to come.
