I don't want to go to this p reudice church today..... I don't feel like dealing

Having experienced moments where social environments feel unwelcoming and judgmental, especially in places meant for community and support like church, I understand how exhausting it can be to face such prejudice. It's not uncommon to feel like an outsider, as if being looked at with disdain or as "a nasty piece of trash" walking can deeply affect one's emotional well-being. In my experience, acknowledging these feelings rather than suppressing them has been the first step toward healing. Sometimes, finding a private moment to reflect or pray, akin to what was described as preferring to "fall in a waterfall," provides a mental escape and fosters inner peace. Additionally, seeking supportive connections, whether with empathetic friends or counseling groups, can help build resilience against the weight of judgment. Remember, your feelings are valid and there are safe spaces and people who will accept you without bias. It's also important to set personal boundaries and decide when to engage or step back from environments that trigger anxiety or emotional pain. Over time, self-compassion and patience make navigating such situations more manageable, and one can slowly create or find communities that promote genuine acceptance and understanding.