5 premarital counseling tips THAT WORKED!! 🎉👰🏻♀️🤵🏾♂️
Hi friends! It’s been a whole year since I stopped doing premarital counseling…because I got married!! 👰🏻♀️🤵🏾♂️In celebration of our first anniversary, I wanted to share my testimony of how premarital counseling worked for me and my husband. Disclaimer: No human relationship is perfect. Learning to live with another human being with different habits and preferences is not necessarily the easiest thing. But here are a few things that my husband and I studied with our pastor that really made the difference:
1. Keep God at the center
God created marriage; therefore, He knows what’s best for marriage. If my spouse and I are both seeking Him, the two of us will also be drawn closer together! Win-win!
2. Protect the Sacred Circle
This is one of the most profound concepts and best-kept secrets to a happy home. God places a Sacred Circle around every family, and it is up to the family to protect that Circle. When we allow evil influences inside the home, we break the Circle, resulting in all kinds of pain. These influences can include toxic family members, negative friends and even the un-healed trauma we bring into our marriage. Remember: We can’t protect the Sacred Circle if we don’t even recognize its existence!
3. Stay friends (friends don’t hurt each other)
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” If I’m friends with my spouse, I wouldn’t want to hurt him. Sadly, it’s all too common to see couples hurt each other. What might have started out as little jabs here and there eventually grows into deep hurt and resentment, and one explanation is simply that the couple no longer thinks of each other as friends. And that’s why I’m super grateful for the strong friendship my husband and I have enjoyed long before we even started dating!
4. Apologize and forgive quickly
Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil.” If we claim to be Christian, we must be dead to self and stop holding onto our anger. We must forgive others as quickly as we hope God will forgive us. On the other hand, we must be quick to acknowledge our sin/wrongdoing and ask for that forgiveness. None of this is saying our feelings are invalid; however, for the sake of protecting our Sacred Circle, we must learn to move past our negative feelings and strengthen our relationships with each other and with Christ.
5. Put your spouse’s preferences above your own
We all have our own preferences and ways of doing things. But if we want to live in harmony with another person, healthy compromises must be made. If we’re busy thinking about how we can cater to our spouse’s preferences and how we can make them happy, and they’re doing the same for us, our marriages should be filled with growth, peace, and selfless joy! We will grow closer together, especially as we discover the best ways to do things TOGETHER as a family!
🤍 I hope these were helpful tips for those of you who are preparing for marriage, and even those of you who are already married and trying to make things work. I used to post marriage/relationship advice all the time, and while I’ve
pivoted to doing more classic Bible studies and testimonies, I still love providing advice and encouragement to my sisters on here. The God who blessed me and my husband with a beautiful marriage can do the same for you!!
Love, Cathy
#marriage #marriageadvice #christianwomen #relationship #godlymarriage
Celebrating a year of married life, I can genuinely attest that premarital counseling played a vital role in shaping a healthy, resilient relationship. One invaluable takeaway was the concept of the "Sacred Circle," which emphasizes creating a protective boundary around the marriage to guard against external negativity and unresolved personal trauma. Recognizing and maintaining this boundary has helped not just avoid conflicts, but also nurture a safe emotional space for both partners. Another personal insight revolves around keeping friendship alive amidst the evolving dynamics of married life. Friendship fosters empathy, mutual respect, and kindness, which cushions the inevitable disagreements that couples face. I found that regularly engaging in simple activities we both enjoy helped us remember the joy in each other’s company beyond just being life partners. Quick apology and forgiveness proved to be transformative for us. Holding onto resentment, even over minor issues, can slowly erode trust and love. Practicing humility to admit mistakes and offering sincere forgiveness immediately lightened emotional burdens and deepened our connection. Additionally, selflessness in honoring my spouse’s preferences often meant adjusting routines and habits, which strengthened our teamwork and cooperation—essential ingredients for a peaceful home. These choices fostered an environment of mutual care where both of us felt valued and supported. Finally, grounding our marriage in faith kept us anchored through challenges. Trusting that God’s design for marriage provides guidance helped us keep conflicts in perspective and motivated us to grow spiritually together. For anyone preparing for marriage or seeking to enrich their union, these faith-based principles combined with practical actions can truly make a difference. Remember, marriage is a journey of continuous learning and commitment, and premarital counseling lays a strong foundation for this beautiful adventure.
❤️amen ❤️