The philosophical novel "Lost."..EP3 Good, good bye

There was one day.

I just realized

My life now.

Not empty at all.

I have love.

Not the kind of love to wait for.

Not the kind of love that needs to be questioned.

But it's the love that's always been here.

Be quiet.

And stable.

I have friends.

There are people who are still

Without me trying to be anyone else.

I have a family.

There is a mother's voice calling to eat.

Voices that have been heard every day.

But just really understood the meaning of it today.

There is a elder who bought snacks.

Without any particular reason.

Unless he just walks by and thinks of me.

Have a friend to travel

There's the word "Happy Birthdays."

Ordinary words

That never had to ask.

And never wonder if it's true.

-

It was then.

That I began to accept sincerely.

That

Maybe.

I may never be liked.

Maybe even from the first day.

That fact.

Didn't break me up like before.

It's just

Put yourself down quietly.

Like the last piece of truth.

That's back in its place.

-

I didn't forget all of a sudden.

I just let go.

Little by little.

Watch some movies

Listen to some music

Sit with yourself

There's no grand ceremony.

"I'm fine today."

There's only one ordinary day.

I realized

I don't cry when I eat anymore.

Didn't cry at work

Didn't cry when the pack of

And didn't cry before bed.

-

Silence.

Not as cruel as it was anymore.

It became just

Silence.

-

I always thought,

If he wants to win me,

He would have gotten that.

Has been gone for a long time

But today,

I'm starting to understand something.

It doesn't matter then whether he wins or loses.

Because what I got back

It's not him.

But is

My life.

Life

That still has the voice of mother calling to eat

There's still candy on the table.

Still have friends

There's still laughter.

And still have my heart

That, despite ever falling apart,

But still choose

To love the world again.