Past Trauma and Current Fear

My name is Char

I have a very big fear of losing the people around before I go. When I was very young, I lost both my both of my grandmother's grandfather, my step grandfather, 2 uncles, and my father right in front of my eyes. They had some kind of cancer, and my mother, being a certified nurse, took care of them all. I didn't lose them at the same time but throughout my youth. As I got older in late middle school, going to high school, 2 of my cousins were killed, and my favorite uncle passed after I had my second daughter. As much as I want to say I'm fine to my family, I've come to realize I'm not. Every day, I walk out of the house, or if either of my daughters leave the house, I feel anxious. My mother, my aunt, my 2 daughters, my grandson, and my oldest daughter's boyfriend, which is my grandson's father, live with me. My mom is 70, and my aunt, who has Celebral Pulsy, is 65. I'm very scared of losing them and getting a horrifying call. I worry a lot about my grandson because he is 4 with Autism and these days, people are just mean for no reason. I honestly don't know what to do.

Thank you for listening

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