Heartbroken, why do you feel so bad that you can't go on?

Heartbroken, why can't it feel like you can't stay?

Even before we met him, we were alone.

This question may be better understood through the process described by the Buddha in "Lust 9."

When a person comes into life, we start meeting and perceiving each other.

Feeling good, warm, comfortable (pity)

And then he started wanting him to be with us, wanting the relationship to continue.

So we approached, took care of, built a relationship, eventually "got together" and gradually gave this person more meaning.

From the original he was just

"The one person we love."

The mind may gradually fill in the meaning that

"He is the one who makes our lives happy."

"He makes us feel like we have value."

"Our future requires him."

As the relationship progresses, love can gradually turn into addiction, attachment, and the feeling that he is "ours" or "part of us."

This is interesting.

Before meeting

I = I

When love

I + he = us

And if "we" are increasingly bound to identity,

One day when he left, what the heart felt was not only

"I lost my lover."

But it might feel like

"A part of me is gone, too."

So there's a feeling that life is broken, worthless, can't be alone, or doesn't know what to live for.

But here is something important that should be separated.

The real event is that the relationship ended.

The idea that

"I'm priceless."

"Nobody Needs Me"

"I was abandoned."

"I can't live without him."

Is the meaning that the heart makes of that event.

The pain of loss is real.

Nostalgia is real.

The sadness is real.

But that doesn't mean that all the ideas that happened at that time are "true."

So the remedy may not be to tell yourself that.

"Don't love."

"Don't stick around."

Or "Why can't you stay now?"

But to gradually see

People who leave with our values are different.

We actually lost one relationship.

But we haven't lost our human values along the way.

Sometimes things need to be relaxed. Not love ever.

But is the meaning that we used to leave with another person that

"Without him, I mean nothing."

As the process becomes clearer, we can gradually come back and find

The ones who left. Our values.

And "ourselves" who lived before they met him.

Not gone anywhere

At one point, the word "we" was invisible.