Jobless and motherhood 🙂
I recently quit my job… because my 10 month old baby is going through peak separation anxiety.
This is a totally normal developmental milestone but as a working mum I feel the pinch whenever I leave her for work. My husband and baby sends me to work in the morning and when we part, she would cry all the way back to infant care. The journey is about 20-30mins depending on traffic.
You may wonder why I can’t go to work myself, well, if I take public transport it’s 1hr 40mins shortest and I have to change 3 buses while driving only take 30mins max (remember guys, I haven’t got my driving licence… that’s why I was desperate to pass - check out my 2 post dedicated to my driving test, it’s bad…).
You may also wonder 1hr 40mins is not that bad, well, to ensure that I reach work on time at 7:30am, I will need to get out of the house at 6am latest to catch the first bus for 2 out of 3 connecting buses. Imagine having a baby waking up 1-2 times at night, I won’t get enough sleep to pull through the day while still delivering satisfactory performance (not even trying to say I can do damn well, just trying to be accountable for my deliverables at work).
Then we have daily pick up… I have very good work life balance because the job allows me to leave on the dot and I do have WFH 2 days (disclaimer- very good employer), but the journey to pick up my baby is a hell of a ride, Bus-> MRT-> MRT change line-> Bus (another 1hr 40mins). The infant care closes at 7pm and I can only pick her up at 6:40pm. She’s always the first few to reach school but 2nd last to go home… this makes me feel so bad because I work the job so I can afford infant care but spend so little time with her because I need the work.
3/5 days of rushing is bad enough, so after awhile I started taking grab… then I felt the pocket burning because that’s $20-30 a day. I don’t earn that much per day… and I cannot justify the spending so it’s only rational to stop.
What will I have to give up? Thats for another post… I don’t think I covered all the reasons as to why I quit but having the flexibility and time for my baby is the main reason. Imagine she’s the only child and yet the childhood is so… idk lack of parents support and company… then why even have kids right?
Taking on motherhood while balancing a career can be an incredibly demanding experience, especially when your child is going through a challenging phase like separation anxiety. From my own experience, the decision to step back from work was not made lightly but became necessary to ensure emotional support during this critical developmental milestone. Separation anxiety in infants typically peaks around 8 to 14 months, and it can be heart-breaking for working parents to leave their child behind each day. I found that the long commute times and complicated public transport routes significantly increased stress levels—not just for me but for the baby too. The constant crying on the way to infant care was a clear sign our routine wasn’t supporting her emotional needs. Sleep deprivation added another layer of difficulty. Waking up multiple times at night meant I was already running on very little rest. Coupling this with early morning departures to catch multiple buses or trains meant I wasn’t able to perform at work the way I wanted to. The mental toll was substantial, and I realized that preserving my ability to care for my child during this sensitive period was far more important than professional obligations. Financial considerations also played a big role. Using ride-hailing services to shorten commute times was an option but quickly became unsustainable given the cost relative to my daily earnings. This dilemma of balancing income and parenting time is a very real issue many parents face. Quitting my job opened up precious time to be physically and emotionally present for my child, giving me peace of mind. This doesn’t mean I abandoned ambitions but rather reprioritized what mattered most at that moment. It’s a complex and deeply personal decision many parents may face, and having supportive partners and employers can make all the difference. For any parent navigating similar waters, remember: it’s okay to put your child’s needs first when necessary. Seek flexible work options if possible, lean on your support networks, and communicate openly about your challenges. Childhood is fleeting, and being present during key developmental stages could be more valuable than we sometimes realize. "But happy"—these two words truly encapsulate the bittersweet journey. Despite the hardships, choosing motherhood first has brought a profound sense of fulfillment and love that professional success alone cannot replace.
I also became a SAHM not by choice. My company relocated when i was on ML and going overseas was not an option either. I wasn’t keen. Was initially scared to depend on 1 income but honestly, i’m grateful this happened. Now my child is 15 months old and i get to spend 1 year with him. Wouldn’t trade it fr the world. Only now, i am starting to apply for jobs and tryna get back to corporate world. But not really looking forward to it tbh hahahaha. Had to do it cus we getting our house and we also want to have a 2nd baby so all need $$$.