no proposal, no wedding, 1 kid
Anyone else received a BTO invite as their marriage proposal?
Very typical, very singaporean and yet it means a lot. Hahaha 😂 my husband and I BTO when we just started dating, it’s never too early because HDB took 5 years to build during the pandemic. It meant a lot because you know he is serious and following the Singaporeans’ roadmap 🤡
The real question is why is there no proposal? Actually I wanted one but both of us are lazy planners so we took it that the BTO was the proposal and went along with it. I remembered very clearly he said “thank you for making my life easier” 💩.
(I know myself, I won’t be able to cry if he proposed to me… I will feel very awkward 😬 when I have to act surprised and what if the proposal wasn’t romantic enough to make me feel awwwww 🥹)
Next, how come no wedding? Again, it can be fun but we don’t like to plan/deal with people we know and don’t know/photo shoots and ceremonies that involved ourselves. That’s why it was easy to come to an agreement. On the day of our ROM, we took maybe 1 video, several iPhone pictures and 1 Omakase. Truthfully, the most important 2 people are present (him and myself) that’s all that matters.
Lastly, 1 kid, why did I even mention it. I just want to share a thought. Marriage is actually not pricey if you please yourself. The expectation to please others cause a lot of money. A happy marriage or an average marriage can last and perhaps outdo the ones that are glamorous. Don’t compare with your peers and social media. Do what makes you and your wallet happy. I now have 1 baby girl and life is fulfilling so the next time you are pressured to host a big wedding banquet, buy an expensive ring, go overseas for a wedding shoot, these things can always be reconsidered 🫡.
Disclaimer this post is only based on 1 marriage experience. Does not speak for others 🤡🫶🏼
From my own experience and from many friends I've talked to, the traditional path of proposal, elaborate wedding, and expensive rings often creates more stress than joy. In Singapore, for many couples, the Build-To-Order (BTO) process is a major milestone and can symbolically represent serious commitment since securing a new home takes years. The author’s choice to treat the BTO invite as a 'proposal' reflects how practical life steps can replace traditional romantic milestones without losing meaning. Choosing to skip the grand wedding ceremony resonates with many who feel overwhelmed by planning, social expectations, or simply prefer intimacy. Often, couples realize that having just the two of them present at the Registry of Marriage (ROM) creates the most meaningful memory. Financially, weddings can cost exorbitantly without guaranteeing happiness. Prioritizing personal contentment—whether it’s enjoying a quiet celebration, savoring a special meal like an Omakase, or investing in your relationship and child rather than external appearances—can lead to a more fulfilling life. It's also important to acknowledge the pressures from social media that amplify comparison and expectations around marriage. Accepting an imperfect or unconventional journey without guilt fosters authentic happiness. For those navigating similar choices, remember: your marriage’s value isn’t measured by ceremonies or costs but by the love and understanding between you and your partner, and the joy your family brings. Embracing this mindset helps reduce anxiety and encourages mindful spending, all while building a life that truly suits you.
we ROM after 6 years together, bought over his parents house, went on to have a kid after 1st year of ROM . No wedding, no wedding pic . Now our production is : 1st boy : 20 yr old 2nd boy: 16 yr old 3rd boy: 10 yr old