Is this too mean?

Having gone through a similar situation myself, I found that involving younger siblings in decision-making through structured tasks like writing an essay or making a video helps them feel valued and heard. It not only teaches them valuable skills such as argument formulation and communication but also sets expectations in a gentle way. The idea of giving "homework" might feel strict, but when framed as a fun project, it encourages engagement. For example, asking your sister to explain how her visit would benefit both her and others, as you’ve done, is an excellent way for her to practice empathy and reflection. She might even surprise you with creative ideas on how to spend quality time or improve relationships with family members involved, such as your mom, your boyfriend, or Nathan. Besides the essay or video presentation, you might also encourage her to plan activities she’d like to do during her visits. This helps her take initiative and shows commitment to making the time meaningful. Additionally, setting clear boundaries — like not hosting her during your trip or major events — helps maintain fairness and your own needs. In my experience, balancing empathy with structure is key. It’s important to affirm your sister’s feelings while helping her develop the skills to express herself maturely. This supportive approach often leads to stronger sibling bonds and smoother family dynamics overall. So, rather than being mean, the "homework" is a creative way to teach life skills and ensure that whatever arrangement you make is thoughtful and beneficial for everyone involved.