who NOT to invite to your wedding 👀
Remember: your wedding will be one of the most important days of your life. You should be surrounded with people who love and support your relationship. Never feel pressured to invite others from family/parents/friends.
Here’s a list of people I believe who should NOT be invited to your wedding:
children ~ in my opinion, children who are not part of your wedding ceremony don’t need to be invited to your wedding. You’ll be surprised how the cost adds up when you include kids (plus, the parents won’t be able to enjoy the night if the kids are around!)
coworkers ~ unless you are close friends with your coworkers, there is no need to invite them
friends you are no longer close with ~ me and my husband decided if we haven’t talked to them in over a year, there is no need to invite them
distant relatives ~ the same above applies to relatives you haven’t spoken to in years or are not close with.
the people who didn’t support your relationship ~ your marriage is a celebration of you and your partner. If there are people who were not supporting your relationship, you may reconsider extending them an invite
people you are not comfortable spending over $100 on ~ this may be a bit controversial, but it’s no secret how expensive weddings can get. This applies mostly to friends/family you may not be so close with
plus ones ~ unless you are close to the person being invited, don’t feel pressured to extend an invite to every plus one/significant other you invite.
neighbors ~ you may get along with your neighbor or neighborhood block, but don’t feel pressured to feel the need to extend the invite to them.
people you don’t know ~ this may seem straightforward, but you’ll be surprised to see that many relatives or friends will try to include a plus one or friend to bring to your wedding. Your wedding is a very special day, and you should know EVERYONE that’s there!
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Making your wedding guest list can truly feel like walking a tightrope! Beyond simply deciding 'who not to invite,' there's the delicate art of navigating expectations and tough conversations. I remember feeling so much pressure, especially when it came to explaining our choices to family and friends. One of the biggest hurdles was dealing with those 'relatives asking about marriage' or subtly hinting about who they thought should be there. My partner and I learned that clear communication, even if uncomfortable, was key. We decided to be honest, explaining that we wanted an intimate celebration surrounded by our closest supporters. It wasn't about excluding anyone personally, but about staying true to our vision and budget. For those distant relatives or friends we hadn't spoken to in years, we simply explained that our list was focused on current, active relationships. It helped to have a united front with my fiancé on these decisions, so we could answer questions together. Then there's the tricky situation of 'plus ones.' It’s often awkward to say no, but trust me, it’s necessary sometimes! When we had to make the call to limit plus ones, especially for guests we barely knew, we tried to phrase it gently. A simple, 'We're so excited to celebrate with you, but due to venue capacity, we're only able to accommodate named guests at this time' usually did the trick. It’s a 'nice way to say no plus ones at wedding' without singling anyone out. Remember, it's your day, and you shouldn't feel obligated to pay for a stranger's meal. What about those awkward moments when someone assumes they're invited or even asks if they can come? This happened to a friend of mine, and it’s truly cringe-worthy. If you find yourself in this situation, a polite but firm response is best. Something like, 'We're so touched you'd want to celebrate with us! Our wedding is going to be a very intimate affair, and unfortunately, we've already finalized our guest list.' It reinforces the boundary without being rude. It’s hard to be the one to say 'you're not on the guest list,' but sometimes it's necessary for your peace of mind. Ultimately, our goal was to create a day filled with genuine joy, not forced pleasantries or financial strain. By carefully considering 'who not to invite' – whether it was coworkers I wasn't close with, children not in the ceremony, or people who didn't support our journey – we ensured every person present truly belonged. It’s about building your dream celebration, not fulfilling others' expectations. It’s a tough but incredibly rewarding part of wedding planning!
I would do most of this except child free wedding. As a child I loved attending weddings with my cousin and I most definitely want kids to make friends with their cousin and play into the night🫶🏼🫶🏼.