the one who held it all together as a kid❤️🩹
Being the one who “held it all together” as a kid wasn’t easy… but it shaped me into someone I’m proud of today.
I’m the oldest between me and my two siblings and I was always the “fixer”. The one who matured a little too early because I had to look out for myself and my siblings. The one who kept it together when things felt messy. And while that kind of responsibility was a lot at times, it taught me a lot.
It taught me how to stay calm under pressure. How to view things in the other person’s perspective. How to take initiative. How to care deeply and show up for others. But most of all, it taught me how to show up for myself today.
That experience gave me a sense of drive. It pushed me to dream bigger, to chase stability, and to build the kind of life I used to only imagine. It also taught me to enjoy the small things in life and that it’s to treat myself to nice things without guilt.
I didn’t get to “fall apart,” but to hold things in and that really taught me how strong I am. That younger version of me would be proud of the woman I’m becoming and I wish I could just give my younger self a hug.
This just goes to show that life is a rollercoaster and is filled with so many surprises!
#lemon8partner #relationship #healingwhilegrowing #innerchildhealing #breakingcycles
#becomingher
It's incredible how many of us resonate with being the 'fixer person,' especially from a young age. I know for me, looking back at photos of my younger self, like that one of me as a child, it's clear I was trying to project an image of calm and control. We often step into this role because we feel a deep sense of responsibility, whether we're the oldest sibling, or just naturally inclined to make things right. While this path undeniably builds incredible resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills, it also carries a unique set of challenges that aren't always talked about. One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is the silent burden of always being the strong one. There’s a pressure that comes with being the 'fixer' – the feeling that if you don't step up, things might fall apart. This can lead to burnout, a constant state of hyper-vigilance, and even a struggle to ask for help when you need it most. We become so adept at managing others' emotions and situations that we sometimes neglect our own inner landscape, pushing our feelings aside because there’s always something else to 'fix.' I remember countless times feeling like I couldn't 'fall apart,' even when I desperately wanted to. But here's the beautiful paradox: recognizing you're a 'fixer' is the first step towards truly healing and growing. It's about channeling that incredible drive and capacity for care back towards yourself. For me, that meant actively learning to set boundaries – something that felt foreign at first. It meant understanding that 'fixing' doesn't always mean doing everything; sometimes it means creating space for others to solve their own problems, or simply offering emotional support without taking on their burden. Embracing this journey also involves inner child work, which the original article touches on. Imagine that younger version of yourself, the one in the white t-shirt and orange shorts, already carrying so much. What would you tell them now? For me, it's a silent promise to protect that part of myself, to give her the freedom to feel, to make mistakes, and to lean on others. It's about breaking cycles of over-responsibility and building a life where you can enjoy the small things without guilt, as the article mentions. If you're a 'fixer person' out there, remember your strengths are immense. You possess a unique ability to navigate challenges and support those you love. But don't forget to apply that same level of care and initiative to your own well-being. Practicing self-compassion, delegating tasks, and allowing yourself moments of vulnerability aren't weaknesses; they are the ultimate acts of self-fixing. It's about evolving from just holding things together for others, to truly building a life that holds you together, sustainably and joyfully. This journey of recognizing personal strength really is a rollercoaster, but it’s one where you get to decide when to take a break and enjoy the view.