Going no contact with an avoidant ex is one of the toughest things you can do, but it's also one of the most powerful steps towards healing. When I first started my no-contact journey, I was constantly second-guessing myself. Was it working? Were they even noticing? It felt like an eternity, and then I saw it – they were viewing my stories, liking old posts. It was confusing, and honestly, a little maddening! I used to think, 'Aha! They miss me!' But as Coach Ty explains, it's rarely that simple with an avoidant. The OCR content really hits home: an avoidant ex stalking you online isn't usually because they've had a sudden epiphany and want to reconcile. More often, it's about control and validation. They're trying to 'get a sense of what's really going on.' They want to know if your no contact is legitimate. Are you truly focusing on healing and moving on, or are you just playing a game to try and make them realize what they've lost? They're testing the waters, trying to understand your intent without actually engaging. This isn't about their deep love for you; it's about managing their own discomfort. What I learned, and what's crucial to understand, is that avoidants are deeply uncomfortable with feeling 'on the hook' or obligated. If they perceive your no contact as a tactic to manipulate them back, or to force a reaction, it can actually push them further away. They might feel cornered or controlled, triggering their deepest fears of engulfment. That's why the 'intent of figuring out what to do to heal and move on from them' is so vital. Your no contact should genuinely be about *you*. This means redirecting your energy from watching their online activity (or hoping they watch yours) to focusing on your own growth. Instead of wondering 'Is this just to try to make them realize the magnitude of losing someone like you?', shift your focus entirely. Use this time to rediscover your passions, strengthen your support system, and process your emotions. As the OCR mentions, 'prioritising yourself' sends them a clear sign: 'If they're not on this, you are no longer going to play this game.' This isn't a game; it's your life. It's about letting go of the hope that they'll 'take some action into working on this relationship' because of your absence. If they do decide to engage, it needs to come from a genuine place, not from feeling pressured. By committing to no contact with the intention of personal healing and moving forward, you regain your power. You're not waiting for them; you're building a better life for yourself. This self-focus is the most profound message you can send, and it's the healthiest path for your own emotional well-being, regardless of their online lurking.