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Kid free weekend- beauty reset time

KID-FREE WEEKEND = THE BEAUTY DEPARTMENT HAS DECLARED AN EMERGENCY. 💅🏼🔥

Listen, I love my kids. I would fight a bear, a landlord, and probably the entire PTA for them.

BUT SOMETIMES I NEED EVERYBODY TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY. 😂

Because when I finally get a weekend without someone yelling “MOM,” asking what’s for dinner, needing a ride, losing a shoe, needing money, needing snacks, or informing me of a crisis that could’ve absolutely waited until Monday…

I AM CLOCKING IN FOR MYSELF.

Hair? FIXED.

Skin? RESURRECTED.

Nails? HANDLED.

Eyebrows? No longer filing for witness protection.

Everything I’ve neglected while running this circus? UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.

I’m taking my sweet-ass time getting ready because apparently I’m allowed to do that when nobody is standing behind me saying, “Are you almost done?”

YES. I AM ALMOST DONE.

I’m almost done looking like I’ve been personally drafted into the war against motherhood. 😂

This isn’t vanity.

This is preventative maintenance.

Because somewhere between school drop-offs, sports, appointments, groceries, laundry, work, bills, chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, and keeping tiny humans alive, I apparently misplaced the woman who existed before everyone started needing something from her.

So this weekend?

SHE’S BACK.

No guilt.

No rushing.

No apologizing.

No “I should probably be doing something productive.”

No ma’am.

The laundry can wait.

The dishes can judge me.

The house can mind its damn business.

MOM IS IN THE BEAUTY CHAIR.

And if anybody needs me?

They don’t.

Because they’re not here.

And honestly?

That’s the whole damn point. 💅🏼😂🔥

5 hours agoEdited to

1 comment

The pitcher of coffee is so real

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