my confinement journey (part 1)
My baby is now 8.5 months old and im finally having the courage to revisit this longest/ most tiring period of my life thus far 🥲
Confinement Nanny
My confinement nanny was from PEM, and I wouldn’t say I would highly recommend her. To be fair, the first two weeks were rather smooth.
We first came home with baby in the morning, and she arrived punctually at 2pm. She was organized and efficient, and started off by asking our food preferences, baby feeding preferences, and daily schedule. The two weeks flew by in a blur. Every 2-3 hours, I would latch baby during the day and pump at night and in the middle I would find time to eat, rest and shower. The nanny cooks quite well and she cleans up well afterwards. Baby would just repeat the cycle of eat, sleep, poop and my nanny helps with bottle feeding at night while im pumping, and she also changes his diapers and showers him as well.
However things started to change from the 3rd week.. my baby started crying more and more even after feeding and was sometimes inconsolable. He would nap for very short moments and wake up crying again. From what me and my husband researched, it sounded like he was cluster feeding and needed to drink milk more often. But my nanny was against it and kept telling us to stick to the fixed schedule of feeding every 3 hours only, otherwise baby would be too gassy/bloated. We tried to reason with her that baby needs on-demand feeding rather than sticking to a fixed schedule, but she was adamant about her beliefs and even turned a black face on us when we went against her schedule. When baby cried again, she would kept saying that it was because we fed him too much and he was gassy. This made us doubt ourselves again and throughout the last 2 weeks, we were just stuck in a cycle of not knowing when to feed baby/ stop feeding/ how to console him when he was crying non-stop. I even stopped latching and became an exclusive pumper just to measure how much he was drinking everyday and searching online whether it was too little/too much. We even took over the night shift duty from her because it made us so upset that baby was often crying throughout the night even after she bottle fed him according to her fixed schedule. My nanny did little to teach me methods of carrying/ consoling my baby properly and I learnt even more from tips on social media and videos. If I were to advise myself again in the future, if baby keeps crying even after clean diapers, just attempt to FEED again. If there’s too much milk, he would simply vomit out and fall asleep afterwards anyway.
All things considered, my nanny cooked well and kept my house clean and neat. But her baby care methods were not aligned with ours and we learnt minimal things from her.
Reflecting on my confinement period, I realized how important it is to trust your instincts as a new parent, especially when traditional methods don't seem to fit your baby's needs. Many confinement nannies follow strict schedules based on cultural practices, which might not always respond well to your baby's unique feeding and comforting cues. For example, cluster feeding is common in newborns—where babies want to nurse more frequently over a short period—which can be misinterpreted as fussiness or overfeeding. From my experience, flexibility is key. Although my nanny insisted on feeding every three hours, I found that responding to my baby's on-demand feeding cues reduced his distress more effectively. Sometimes, despite conventional advice, your baby knows best when they're hungry or need extra comfort. Additionally, not all confinement nannies provide hands-on guidance for soothing techniques or carrying methods, which are invaluable for first-time parents. I turned to social media communities and online videos for practical tips on calming techniques, swaddling, and safe babywearing, which greatly helped me bond with and soothe my baby. It’s also essential to monitor signs beyond feeding times—like diaper changes, sleep patterns, and overall comfort—to understand your baby’s wellbeing better. When babies cry inconsolably despite clean diapers and feeding, it might indicate they need more frequent soothing or feeding attempts. I learned that if there was too much milk intake, my baby would often vomit and then settle, which helped me adjust feeding amounts without fear. In summary, confinement can be a challenging phase, but nurturing your baby according to their signals and seeking support from varied sources can make all the difference. Being open to adjusting traditional confinement practices to suit your baby's needs can improve both your and your baby's wellbeing during this precious but tiring period.
