Told my dad to pay his own trip

my dad has always favored my brother—like no joke, he celebrates everything my brother does but barely acknowledges my milestones. When I graduated and hosted him, he whispered to my mom that he wished he stayed home because dinner was “too expensive” and our bed wasn’t comfy. I overheard that while I was literally giving up my own bed for him.

Fast forward, I’m working on my business now and he randomly goes, “If you ever want to gift us a holiday or a car, don’t feel like you have to spend too much.” HUH??? Sir, you’ve got a job. Why is it always assumed I’ll pay for things?

So I told him straight up: “You can pay for your own holiday, you’ve got a job.”

It’s been awkward ever since. But like… was I wrong?

#AskLemon8 #Letschat #ToxicParents #FamilyBoundaries #RealTalk

2025/7/18 Edited to

... Read moreOh, I completely get where you're coming from! Dealing with parental financial expectations, especially when you feel there's a history of favoritism, is incredibly challenging. It's easy to feel guilt-tripped or wonder if you're in the wrong, but trust me, you're not alone in setting boundaries. Many of us face similar situations where parents might have different views on money or feel entitled to their adult children's earnings. For some, it might stem from generational differences, where there was an unspoken expectation for children to support parents in old age. For others, like in your case, it could be tied to long-standing family dynamics, such as favoritism. When one sibling is consistently favored, it can create a deep sense of injustice, making financial requests even harder to swallow. The idea that you should 'fund his vacation' after feeling undervalued for so long is genuinely frustrating. It takes immense courage to tell a parent, "You can pay for your own holiday." It’s a moment of standing up for yourself, asserting your financial independence, and demanding respect. The awkwardness you’re feeling is a completely normal part of this process. When you change an established dynamic, even if it's unhealthy, there will inevitably be discomfort. Your dad might be surprised, disappointed, or even angry because his expectations were challenged. But remember, his reaction is about his feelings, not about whether your boundary was justified. Your well-being and financial stability are paramount. So, what now? First, validate your own feelings. It's okay to feel angry, resentful, or even a little sad about the situation. These emotions are valid. Second, don't feel the need to over-explain or justify your decision. "No" is a complete sentence. If he brings it up again, you can calmly reiterate your position: "Dad, I've made my decision about funding trips. I hope you still have a wonderful time on your vacation." You don't owe him an explanation of your finances or why you feel the way you do about past favoritism, unless you feel ready and able to have that very difficult conversation. Setting financial boundaries with parents is a marathon, not a sprint. There might be more awkward moments, or even attempts at guilt-tripping. Stay firm and consistent. Prioritize your financial journey and your peace of mind. It’s not selfish to protect your resources and your emotional energy. In fact, it’s a sign of maturity and self-respect. You've taken a massive step toward establishing healthier financial expectations in your family. Keep going!

21 comments

Holly Beth Gros's images
Holly Beth Gros

tell him him that since he favours your brother your brother should provide those things.

See more(1)
Ⓙⓔⓝⓝⓐ ♊️✨'s images
Ⓙⓔⓝⓝⓐ ♊️✨

no! and i hope you don’t feel bad. let it be awkward bc it’s flat out weird and inappropriate he felt comfortable saying that. ESPECIALLY with the economy and the changes coming 😭

See more comments

Related posts

A person in a bright green dress and pink bag stands against a wooden wall, with text overlaying "4 Buy Now pay later Travel companies People don't tell you about." The image introduces the topic of travel payment plans.
The logo for Funjet Vacations, featuring a yellow sun design next to the black text "Funjet Vacations." This company offers payment plans for all-inclusive resort packages.
The logo for Airfordable, displaying the word "airfordable" in white text with a stylized 'a' on a dark background. Airfordable allows travelers to pay for flights in installments.
4 Buy Now pay later travel companies
4 Buy Now, Pay Later Travel Companies You Didn’t Know You Needed Because that dream trip doesn’t have to wait on your bank account. Let’s be real — sometimes the only thing standing between you and a passport stamp is the upfront cost. But what if I told you there’s a way to lock in the trip no
Kamiah Tashey

Kamiah Tashey

3637 likes

3 Home Care Money Tips Nobody Told You 👀💰
Thinking about starting your own home care business? Follow me + comment ‘homecare’ so I can help you 💛 #healthcarehustle #homehealthcare #nurse #homecaretips #homecare
BossInHomeCare

BossInHomeCare

1890 likes

An image displaying six distinct color schemes, each composed of multiple paint swatches, labeled #1 through #6. The title reads: 'CHOOSE A COLOR SCHEME GET A BOOK REC (AGAIN!)'.
A book titled 'Intermezzo' by Sally Rooney, corresponding to color scheme #1. It is described as contemporary literary fiction with a stream of consciousness style, featuring brothers Peter and Ivan Koubek.
A book titled 'Graveyard Shift' by M.L. Rio, corresponding to color scheme #2. It is a horror mystery thriller novella about five people discovering a grave in a college cemetery.
choose ur own adventure: book rec edition
Was this just another opportunity for me to play with my paint samples? …maybe. mind ur business 🫵🏻 But book recs!! Book recs of all genres!! Choose your favorite color scheme (or multiple 👀) and find what book awaits you! There’s something here for everyone, from literary fiction to horror to s
molly

molly

1864 likes

HOW COME NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT THESE BEFORE?!😱
I stumbled across these at Barnes & Noble when I was looking for another book & had to stop myself from buying them all 😭 I cannot wait to add these to my collection of books to read! The order it’s in here is how you’re supposed to read them (as per what the lady at B&N said) I thi
Ria🪴 | Books & Lifestyle

Ria🪴 | Books & Lifestyle

3532 likes

Budget MY $2.5k Pay in August with me
Hi friends, time to budget august with me 🧾! I’m 24, living in LA, currently working as a marketing intern and bringing in $2.5k/month. saving is def important, but I still like to set aside $250 for fun—think skincare, the occasional cute outfit, or a weekend out with friends. tbh i haven’t been
HeyitsCeci🍜

HeyitsCeci🍜

240 likes

Two young women are seen in a mirror selfie, with one making a peace sign. An overlay reads, "They told me not to start that business..."
A young woman in a white dress sits by a pool with "BB MADE" in the background. Text overlay states she is a "6 figures earner" who moved to LA at 19, runs her own business, controls her schedule, and is on track to retire her mom.
A financial statement shows various amounts and dates under "Regional Vice-President." Text overlays encourage not caring what people think, chasing dreams, and announces "I'm hiring."
Dont listen to people who don’t pay you’re bills..
Fill out a form in my bio 🔗 or DM me “Ready” on instagram: @Darlynvanesaa 🤍✨ #fypシ゚viral
DARLYN

DARLYN

16 likes

In case Nobody Told You👇
In case nobody told you....‼️ North Face, Overstock, Apple, Sephora, Chewy, Nordstrom, BestBuy, Trip Advisor, and most companies will pay people who aren't "influencers" $1-5k a month to review/promote products online and it takes a couple of hours a day from home Don't worry mos
Laarni Tan | Make Money Online

Laarni Tan | Make Money Online

44 likes

UK Tourist With Valid Visa Detained for Six Weeks
WHAT HAPPENED TO KAREN NEWTON: A retired British grandmother with a valid visa. Detained for 42 days. Slept on a detention center floor for a month. Separated from her husband. Told she was “guilty by association.” Released without explanation. Her message: “Don’t go — not with Trump in char
Fight Oligarchy

Fight Oligarchy

55 likes

He kept my late dad’s bike 💔
When my dad passed away, I was the one left to handle everything the bills, the funeral, and the house payments. He didn’t have life insurance, but he did own a few things, including a fairly new motorcycle that was fully paid off. I planned to sell it to cover most of the funeral costs and the
Isabella

Isabella

11 likes

❌Do NOT use your own pet for an Service Animal❗️
‼️Disclaimer: im NOT talking about the people who actually need them but the people who fake their disability to make excuses for why they can’t train their pets.‼️ I’m really sick of people saying that they need a SA (Service Animal) and they go get their dog certified just because they want them
Lyssa

Lyssa

1282 likes

A tablet displays the cover of the BL manhwa 'Tiger's Den,' featuring two men in wedding attire holding a baby. Overlaid text reads 'BL MANHWA review.' The tablet rests on a bookshelf filled with other BL manhwa titles, with a 'lemon8 @cozywulfe' watermark.
BL with a Soft Gangster Top and His Hungry Omega
📖 Name of the Book: Tiger's Den on Tapas 📄 Plot: Seonu Lee is an omega who agreed to be a surrogate for Beom Yoo, a gangster from a powerful family. The deal is simple, live with Beom while Seonu is pregnant, have the baby, take the money then leave to spend the rest of his life with his g
Cozywulfe | BL Reading Diary

Cozywulfe | BL Reading Diary

199 likes

Hello everybody all my friends is that there I’m w
Hello everybody, I am writing this letter about my dear friend. I dearly love Elon musk me and him has a been a fan of his my whole entire life. He has done me so badly that I am dying of stomach cancer. I’m dying of COVID-19 where it’s deteriorated my lungs the Covid ammonia. I’m on stage three. I
Apple Userrobertthomas

Apple Userrobertthomas

30 likes

A woman in a black flowing dress with arms raised stands in a field of yellow flowers. Text reads "How I told my family I WAS PREGNANT."
A woman in a black dress with arms raised stands in a field. Text describes telling her best friend about her pregnancy for advice.
A smiling pregnant woman in a black dress holds her belly in a field. Text explains telling her boyfriend after doctor confirmation.
How I told my family I was pregnant
This is just how I told my side of the family. It was so fun to have a theme and send it out for Halloween ☺️ #pregnancy #pregnant #photoshoot #fall #halloween #halloween2023 #embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #witchy #witchyvibes
Beth

Beth

29 likes

I told him NOT to pay for me…
📖Rule 7: You Can’t Fake Date Your Brother’s Best Friend by Anne-Marie Meyer 💙brother’s best friend 💙fake relationship 💙he falls first 💙YA series #authorannemariemeyer #brothersbestfriend #fakedating #yaromancebookrecs #justkisses
Author Anne-Marie Meyer

Author Anne-Marie Meyer

33 likes

Hacks I Used To Pack For A 14-Day Trip ✈️🧳🎒
Leaving the country for the first time can be stressful. I wanted to pack as light as possible to make it as stress-free as possible. I saw plenty of videos and posts to help determine how to pack. I'm glad I did. ● Your suitcase should be strong. Be sure all the wheels work and the handle doe
Movie Nerd

Movie Nerd

24 likes

✨Reconnect to your own energy.✨
✨Your energy isn’t lost — it’s just waiting for you to stop running on someone else’s Wi-Fi.✨ ✨ The Secret of Your Own Energy: How to Recognize It and Flow With It 🌙 Introduction Energy is something many people overestimate because, in the physical world, there’s always something to worry
The Woman on Fire 🔥

The Woman on Fire 🔥

4 likes

A man with a mustache, Josef Fritzl, is shown with overlay text 'Disturbing Photos Held His Daughter Captive For 24 Years Without Anyone Knowing'. Another man in uniform is blurred in the background.
A room in the cellar with a makeshift bed, wooden shelves, a barbecue grill, and a radiator. The text 'Read description for the story' is overlaid.
A room with a wooden paneled door, two small windows, a ladder, and various items like paint buckets and a printer, suggesting a storage or utility space.
The True Horror of Elisabeth Fritzl: A Daughter Trapped by Her Own Father
In the quiet Austrian town of Amstetten, a horror was unfolding beneath the floorboards of an ordinary home—one that would shock the world and forever change how we define evil. This is the true story of Elisabeth Fritzl, a young woman who was imprisoned, abused, and betrayed—not by a stranger, but
OurEerieHistory

OurEerieHistory

307 likes

A red bottle of Luminous Daily Nourishing Body Lotion by Bath & Body Works is shown next to a red, faceted Luminous perfume bottle. Both products are on a light, fluffy surface, highlighting their vibrant red and gold packaging.
I was told I smell like Jimmy Choo..
Now I’ve always had this luminous collection from Bath And body Works for the Christmas 2023 collection but during this semi annual sale, I have purchased the perfume which smells glorious and have great staying power. Today I wore the perfume along with the body lotion to go to my doctors appoi
✨Pixie 🧚🏾‍♂️ Dust✨

✨Pixie 🧚🏾‍♂️ Dust✨

26 likes

FATIMA PORTUGAL | Don’t miss on your Portugal trip
How to Visit Fátima , Portugal: The Often Overlooked Destination ✨ Fátima, one of the most significant pilgrimage sites in the world, is often missed by travelers visiting Portugal , who focus on the coastal cities like Lisbon and Porto. However, this town is deeply rooted in faith and histor
More Legs Room

More Legs Room

33 likes

A hand holds a sheep-patterned mug on a farm at dawn/dusk, with two young cows and a barn. Overlay text reads: 'THOUGHT I WAS GOING ON VACATION... ENDED UP BEING FARM SITTER INSTEAD,' conveying the user's disappointment about unexpected farm duties.
Feeling taken advantage of by my own parents
So here’s the deal: I live on a farm with horses, dogs, and a bunch of other animals. Weekday chores are a bit easier because someone helps during the day, but weekends? Full responsibility. Feed horses and all the inside pets at 5 AM, do chores again midday, dogs out constantly, and night chores t
Alexa

Alexa

18 likes

A person with long blonde hair stands by a wooden fence, looking out at the ocean during sunset or sunrise. Text overlay reads "Lighthouses to visit in MAINE."
The Portland Head Light, a white lighthouse with a red-roofed keeper's house, stands on a rocky cliff overlooking the water under a cloudy sky.
The Spring Point Ledge Lighthouse, a cylindrical white lighthouse with a black top, is situated on a rocky breakwater with people standing near its base.
Lighthouses to visit during your Maine trip🦞🌊🫐🌲
Maine is known for its beautiful coastal light houses and is home to more than 60 lighthouses! Three lighthouses located in southern Maine that are worth the visit during your trip to Maine are; - Portland Head Light : Portland Head Light is one of the most photographed lighthouses in the Am
Sam Richard

Sam Richard

33 likes

Key verses from bible study on 12 hr road trip <3
#christianroadtrip #jesusalways #biblenotes #jesuslovesyou
Shelby Lynn 💕🌸💖🎀

Shelby Lynn 💕🌸💖🎀

37 likes

We’re not David in our own story
Today’s sermon was about David and Goliath. The story e v e r y o n e knows about. But the way it was put today is a way I had never thought about. We’re always told “you are the David in your story!” That sounds good and encouraging, however… What if we aren’t David? What if we are the sold
RileighJohnston

RileighJohnston

33 likes

I told them to pay attention. 🧠
[TW: FAKE BL00D] story cred: u/Sisyphuzz [RE-RUN] #twosentencehorrorstories #twosentencehorror #horrortok #scarystories #fakebloodwarning
[𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗]𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔞

[𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗]𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔞

64 likes

A child, likely the stepson, is engrossed in building with LEGOs, with an instruction manual and scattered bricks on a black table. The image includes text overlaying the scene, stating: "her ex says I'm 'unfair' for not saving for her son's private school but why is it suddenly my responsibility?"
Refusing to pay for my stepson’s school
My partner and I have a child together, and he also has a son from his previous relationship. We share custody 50/50, and I’ve always tried to treat his son kindly I’ve paid for clothes, holidays, and even a private tutor. Here’s the thing: I earn a bit more than my partner, and I’m careful with
Leyna

Leyna

8 likes

🚨TRUMP SELF OWN:
Trump just accidentally told on himself. Asked if Democrats would impeach him if they win the House, Trump didn’t defend his record or deny misconduct. He said they’ll “find something.” That’s not innocence. That’s someone who knows exactly what’s there.
Eric Burnside

Eric Burnside

7 likes

nobody told me loneliness hits THIS hard
moving into my own place felt like the dream. no roommates, no sharing a fridge, peace and quiet. but now that i’m in it… it’s quiet quiet. like sit-in-the-dark-eating-dinner-alone kind of quiet. i thought i’d love it, but i miss the random convos, the background noise, even the drama sometimes. no
Kyla

Kyla

742 likes

The Hávamál in the Poetic Edda
The Hávamál is an ancient Norse text that is part of the Poetic Edda. It is essentially a collection of wisdom sayings, ethical guidelines, and practical advice attributed to the God Odin, our Allfather. The name translates to "Sayings of the High One," where the "High One" refers t
TheVioletWitch

TheVioletWitch

9 likes

She wants my trip money
So I got a trip to England this summer 🇬🇧 as a reward for getting a 4.0 in history . I worked really hard for this and honestly, I’m proud of myself 💪. But now my sister is demanding I give that money to her instead 😤. She’s struggling to pay for child care and says she “deserves it more.” Wh
Brey

Brey

672 likes

Three people, likely a family, with their faces obscured by yellow flower emojis, standing indoors. An overlay reads: 'parents want me to help with their rent... but I already cut ties.' The image also features the Lemon8 logo and a username.
Am I Selfish for Not Helping My Parents Pay Rent
I finally moved out after years of emotional abuse. Since then, I’ve been working, paying rent, and saving for college on my own. Recently my grandma called saying my parents can’t pay rent and asked me to use my savings to help them. I refused. Every dollar I’ve saved, I worked hard for myself.
Jannah

Jannah

7 likes

When ICE Seized the Mayor, His City Showed Up
"Almost a Gestapo nation": When ICE seized the mayor, his city showed up By Bob Hennelly, May 13, 2025, from Salon.com Last Friday, federal immigration police seized Ras Baraka, the mayor of this city, off a public street outside Delaney Hall, a controversial private prison operated b
Fight Oligarchy

Fight Oligarchy

14 likes

See more