We broke up
I’ve been through many and let me tell you, even in my late 30s, the pain doesn’t get any easier. Heck, it may even be more difficult because now I’m dating with intention. I’d really like to find my person but every time things don’t work out, I’m left feeling discouraged and hopeless. When will I ever find the one?! Where is he? Does he exist? Honestly, I don’t know. I’d like to think he does, but time will tell. What I do know is that because I’ve gone through heartache before, I know a few ways to get through another. Here are my top three sure fire ways that have helped me sail through a heartbreak.
💔 Do more of what I already love to do, or start a new hobby. Focusing on what you already love and or starting something new can bring immense joy. It can fill your heart with happiness and take your mind off of the pain you’re feeling. If you don’t know what brings you joy, try something that’s been piquing your interest. You never know where it may take you!
💔 Write down why we broke up and all the bad things about the relationship. A lot of times we replay a particular story in our mind about how amazing the relationship was, or how much potential it had, but a lot of times we forget all the things that upset is. Do NOT forget that! Those are the red flags 🚩 that we overlook because we’re in the “puppy love” phase. Remember, if the relationship were that amazing and this was your person, it wouldn't have ended.
💔 Allow myself to feel the pain. I cry, I watch sad movies, I listen to sad music, I feel my emotions. It’s easy to forget that we are losing someone when we go through a break up. It’s a loss. So feelings of grief are normal. It’s okay to not be okay, and allowing ourselves to feel the pain will help us to get over them in healthy way. Just don’t sit in that pain for too long. ❤️🩹
Going through a breakup is never easy, especially when dating with the intent to find your person. The emotional impact can sometimes feel amplified in your 30s. To help alleviate the pain, it’s important to focus on self-care. Engaging in hobbies or exploring new interests can provide a much-needed distraction and help rediscover what brings you joy. Journaling can also be an effective tool. Writing down the reasons for the breakup and recalling the negative aspects of the relationship reinforces a clear understanding of why it didn’t work out, aiding the healing process. Remembering those red flags can help prevent similar situations in the future. Lastly, embracing your emotions is vital. Watching sad movies or listening to melancholic music allows for a deeper emotional release. Acknowledging the grief of losing someone is not a weakness but a part of the healing journey. It’s important to validate these feelings but also to set time limits on how long you dwell on them, ensuring a balanced approach to recovery. By applying these strategies, you can move forward and open up to the possibilities of love again.
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