Almost a month ago I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself. I saw a version of me that I never want to go back to or even come close to. I was putting others before myself I was stressed out of my mind every day, and I started to suspect I was having some health issues which led me to feeling super depressed. I knew something was wrong and I had to make a change. As I started worrying about my health I realized I needed to have less stress in my life. I knew I was at a breaking point. I did not like who I was becoming. I knew I was not being true to myself and my values.
I started doing research on how to heal from within. I started by looking at anti inflammatory diet and cortisol. I lost 20 pounds in 2024 and went vegetarian from vegan of 8 years. I struggled this year with binge eating and food restriction going back and forth between healing it and struggling. I started drinking again after being one year sober. I Finally broke the cycle of drinking (again) and also clean up my diet from processed proteins and restrictions. I was doing high intensity workouts sometimes multiple times a day.
I've been focusing on eating Whole Foods, no added sugar, gut health, removing stressful situations that are within my control, true balance, no restrictions, lowering chortisol, lower intensity movement (paired with weight lifting bc that's my therapy), no alarm clock in the morning.
One of my goals in Q4 of 2025 was to stop looking at the numbers (calories, macros, workouts) and focus on how I FEEL. Of course I'm still looking at my nutrition but I'm doing it in a much healthier way and trusting myself and my intuition to guide me. I've made so much progress in so little time and it's showing 🥲 I feel so much lighter mentally.
I've learned that things like anxiety stress eating disorders are a symptom, a signal from your body that something deeper is wrong. Sometimes the root problem may be something you never expected it to be.
For me it was over exercising, eating the wrong things (processed > real food), putting others before myself and keeping myself in stressful situation. My numbers on the scale/inbody looked great but I felt horrible. Your body is a physical reflection of your mind. Don't forget that! If something is off INVESTIGATE! try taking a break from people or places, eating differently, cutting alcohol (highly recommend), try a new exercise method, see how your body responds.
