Your Needs Matter Too
Ladies don’t be impressed with a man who likes you. Place value on a man who expresses intention, takes action to pursue you, and makes a commitment with you. Simply liking you or flirting with you without action, pursuit, and commitment is shallow. Liking you just reaffirms you are likable and a sign you are doing the work to be the best you. Lots of people, men and women alike may like you. You even should like you to the point of loving you. Sometimes women get into unhealthy relationships and situationships because they simply like being liked. Sometimes being liked increases self esteem, self worth, or strokes a fragile ego. Don’t assume liking you will result in any meaningful action. A man can like you but have no intention of pursuing you or courting you. Just because he likes you doesn’t mean he’s choosing you. A man who chooses you makes it plain that you know he is seeking after you. He makes commitments and plans with you and for you. A godly man with honest intentions towards you won’t simply rest on getting you to know he likes you. Don’t move toward him until he expresses intent and takes clear action. Know that if he only likes you certain days of the week or pays attention to you during certain fixed times, something or someone else is occupying the time slots closed off to you. Liking you also doesn’t mean he’s willing to allow others to know he likes you. If it’s a secret that only he and you know, it’s a secret for a reason. Either because others can’t know he likes you or he is actively keeping them from learning what you know. A godly man won’t hide you or how he is feeling about you if his feelings are genuine and right. You deserve a love that is public and not a charade that only pays attention to you when it feeds what he needs.
In my personal experience, understanding the difference between being liked and being truly pursued has been life-changing. For a long time, I found myself stuck in situationships where a man’s attention felt sporadic and conditional—limited to times when it was convenient for him or when it served his needs. Initially, I mistook this intermittent affection as genuine interest, but over time, I realized that liking alone offers no guarantee of commitment or respect. A meaningful relationship involves clear intention and consistent actions. When a man openly expresses his feelings and follows through with plans and commitments, it shows he values you beyond just surface-level admiration. I learned to look for signs like inclusion in future plans, willingness to introduce me to his close circle, and openly acknowledging our relationship in public—these were indicators of authentic love and respect. On the contrary, if his affection is secretive or limited to particular moments, it usually signals that your needs might not be a priority. Such dynamics often bring confusion and emotional turmoil. I found that setting healthy boundaries and demanding openness led me to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Self-love is also a crucial foundation. When you value yourself, you naturally attract partners who respect and pursue you genuinely. Remember, you deserve more than to be liked; you deserve to be chosen wholeheartedly and publicly. Recognizing this difference helped me avoid toxic patterns and embrace relationships that uplift and honor my worth.