The Hardest Goodbye: Rehoming Our Dog
This is not a story I ever wanted to have to tell. But here we are.
Lafayette was our dog before we became parents. He’s a loud, lanky, deeply ridiculous hound who howls at fire trucks, loves sunbeams, and has an ongoing feud with our vacuum cleaner. He’s never been a danger - not to us, not to other adults, not even to the neighborhood cats he occasionally tried (and failed) to chase.
When our son was born, Lafayette was gentle and curious. He sniffed the baby cautiously, curled up nearby during feedings, and stood guard over the bassinet like some kind of floppy-eared, confused uncle.
But once Henry got mobile, things started to shift.
It wasn’t immediate or dramatic. Just a slow unraveling. Lafayette became tense when the baby got too close. He’d leave the room if the toddler energy got too loud or chaotic. We never left them alone together and gave them both plenty of space when anyone seemed a bit overstimulated, and it was all working out.
Then, he bit.
It wasn’t a bad injury, thank goodness. It broke the skin but didn’t require stitches. But it was unprovoked. It was on my child’s face. And it changed everything.
Since then, Henry has been terrified of Lafayette. He screams if he sees him. Lafayette is now confined to the basement for everyone’s safety. He doesn’t understand why he can’t be with us and we feel guilty that he’s stuck by himself until little man’s bedtime. He’s miserable. We’re miserable. We’re all overwhelmed. And most of all, we’re heartbroken.
Because I love that dog.
He isn’t a bad dog. He’s just not a good fit for our life anymore. And as much as it guts me to say it, my job as Henry’s mom is to keep him safe - even when it breaks my heart.
We’re working to find Lafayette a new home without young kids, where he can stretch out in the sun and be his silly, stubborn self again. It’s not easy. But we’re trying.
If you’re reading this and quietly whispering me too - whether it’s about rehoming a pet, protecting a child, or making an impossibly hard choice you never saw coming - just know you’re not alone. Sometimes loving them means letting them go.
💔🐾
Some edits: I felt like I wrote a novel on this post and was trying to keep it brief. I use this app as a journal/thoughtdump sometimes and hardly anyone usually even sees my posts - I never expected this to pop off like it has. I was writing for myself and the 5-6 people who regularly see my content and know more of my history and the type of person I am so I didn’t include everything, but now that it’s gotten so much attention there are some things I’d like to clarify:
- Lafayette is a rescue that came to me in 2020. His brain doesn’t process things like most dogs and he’s needed a lot of extra support throughout the years - support that I’ve been happy to provide through training and regular vet visits. Training is difficult with him because of previous trauma and just his brain chemistry, but we’ve made a ton of progress with him. Progress is great and we celebrate it, but it’s not getting us to a point of safe coexistence.
- This wasn’t a sudden change. He has a problem with little kids once they’re mobile, and my son is increasingly mobile every day. He walks and plays throughout our house, and he’s very gentle with the dog. We’ve taught him about safe interactions with animals from the very start and he doesn’t hit, prod, or pull on the dog. This particular event was when my son climbed up on the opposite side of the couch from the dog - not on him, not even next to him, and Lafayette lunged and bit.
- I didn’t think to clarify about our basement but y’all I don’t have the dog shoved into a crawl space. Our basement is full sized, finished, and somewhere we pretty regularly hang out. It’s the only space in our home that we can keep the dog separated from our child while ensuring everyone is safe and as comfortable as possible.
- Lafayette is not and can not be crate trained. We’ve tried, extensively. He panics if he’s confined and will howl until he’s out and bark himself literally sick. He does the same if we put up baby gates and he can see us but can’t get to us. I mentioned that his brain works a little differently and this is part of it which adds a whole different layer to the situation.
- I’m not dumping my dog to be euthanized or posting him for free to end up in a dog fight. He’s safe and being kept as comfortable as possible til I find him the right home.
- It would be unfair to Lafayette to keep him in this situation. Some dogs just don’t do well with small kids, and it’s not always something that can be trained or medicated out of them. Because of his own liver issues even the smallest dosages of anxiety meds turn him into a zombie. I’m not forcing my lively, energetic dog to live a doped-up half life for the next few years til my son is big enough to not trigger that anxiety from him. That’s cruel, and anyone damning me for finding him a place that he can thrive needs to take a step back and consider the ramifications for HIM if I were to keep him here, regardless of the impact on the human side of the family.
Thank you to everyone who shared their stories and support, it really helped me feel not so alone in this.
To those who insist I’m some monster for making a hard choice that lets my dog live his best life - I hope you never find yourself in this same situation and having to make choices that break your heart.
One more edit for transparency: I haven’t deleted a single comment on this. I’ve blocked exactly two people because of their outright aggression and hostility - one who agreed with me and one who didn’t, so it’s not about which side of this you fall on. If you made a comment and it’s gone it’s because Lemon8 flagged it, and I have no control over that. Sometimes I get a comment notification and as soon as I click on it the comment is already gone - it’s the moderation system, not me just deleting comments I don’t like.
Final edit: I’m disabling comments. Most of y’all were wonderful but those of you who weren’t were spewing hateful garbage like it’s your job. I don’t have the time, energy, or desire to moderate the comments so they’re off.
#momlife #dog #honestparenting #lifewithtoddlers #petsKnoxville
Rehoming a beloved pet can be one of the most difficult decisions a pet owner must face. In many households, pets are more than just animals—they are family members. However, situations can arise that make it necessary to find a new home for a pet. This article resonates with parents who might find themselves in similar circumstances, particularly when a growing child interacts with a pet in ways that could lead to fear or even injury. When children begin to crawl and explore, the risks of dog bites can increase, especially with breeds that may misinterpret a child’s movements. In Lafayette's case, the initial gentle nature shifted into tension and fear as baby Henry grew more mobile, which ultimately led to the heartbreaking incident. Parents face the challenge of ensuring both their children's safety and their pets' well-being. They may wonder how they could keep both their child and their furry friend safe, while managing home dynamics and emotions. It's essential for parents experiencing similar situations to understand they are not alone. Many families confront this heartbreaking dilemma, leading to widespread discussions about pet safety and rehoming. Support networks, whether online or locally, can provide resources and advice on how to approach the rehoming process compassionately. It's crucial to ensure that the new home is a good fit for the pet, which helps alleviate some guilt that may come with the decision. In addition to providing support, parents should also educate themselves on how to introduce pets to children safely. Techniques such as gradual introductions, positive associations with treats, and supervised interactions can go a long way to mitigate risks. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance that keeps both children and pets safe, while fostering a nurturing environment for all members of the family. Remember, sometimes the hardest choice—like rehoming a pet—is made out of love. It reflects a commitment to ensuring the safety and happiness of both the child and the dog, which is an act of caring that many can understand and relate to.
