Today we came across a reel made by someone with a massive platform…1.5 million followers…
Talking about our marriage…stitched one of our reels…Without knowing us…Without tagging us…
Without knowing the woman I am or the man my husband is today…
And honestly…It didn’t make me angry…
It made me sad.
Because it showed me just how jaded so many people still are when it comes to betrayal, marriage, and healing…
There is a loud corner of the internet that truly believes…
– People cannot change
– Men cannot heal
– Women who stay must be “weak,” “brainwashed,” or “beat down”
– Accountability and repair are impossible
And here’s the part I want to gently name…
Even if those assumptions were true (which they aren’t)
If I were weak…
If I were traumatized…
If I were a woman who had been emotionally beaten down…
How would attacking me…
Mocking me…
Publicly shaming me …
And unleashing thousands of people to demean me and my family be helpful?
Who does that actually serve?
That isn’t advocacy…
That isn’t protection…
That isn’t strength…
That’s cruelty disguised as concern!
His bio actually says “I’m loud and cuss a lot but actually care”…
Real care doesn’t humiliate…
Real leadership doesn’t dehumanize…
And real healing doesn’t come from tearing women apart in the name of “truth.”
Here’s what I know, because I’ve lived it…
Because we’ve lived it…
Because we’ve walked thousands of women and couples through it…
-People can heal
-Men can take radical responsibility and heal
-Betrayal does not have to be the end of the story
-Staying is not weakness
-Leaving is not failure
-And no outsider gets to define a woman’s power from a 7 second clip…
What’s been interesting though…
Is that since that reel went up, new women are following me and sliding in my DMs…
“Thank you for giving me hope, I found you from that horrible reel.”
This tells me everything…
Hope will always threaten people who’ve made peace with hopelessness….
Healing will always trigger those who haven’t done their own work…
And nuance will always feel dangerous to minds addicted to absolutes…
So no…
I won’t shrink!
I won’t harden my heart!
And I won’t stop choosing humanity…even when it would be easier to fight fire with fire…
I could go and try and defend myself and all of the wrong assumptions but those people aren’t worth my time…
One day my voice will be louder than rage-bait and shame culture…
Because it’s rooted in truth…
In embodiment…
In lived experience…
And in a love that has been tested by fire and chosen anyway…
If you’re here because something in you felt this…
Welcome…You’re not weak for believing in healing…you’re brave for believing something outside of black & white societal programming.
In my personal journey through betrayal and healing, I’ve learned how crucial it is to reject the harsh judgments that often surround those experiences. The internet can sometimes be an unforgiving place, especially when situations are condensed into short clips or sensational posts. Like the reel mentioned, one-sided portrayals rarely capture the full story or the growth that follows pain. What many don’t see is the daily choice to heal and redefine oneself after betrayal. Healing isn't a linear process; it involves setbacks and breakthroughs, but it is deeply possible. Men and women alike can take responsibility and transform not only their relationships but themselves. Staying in a marriage after betrayal doesn’t indicate weakness; it often shows immense courage and a commitment to repair and growth. I also recognize the power of community and open, compassionate conversations. Many women who reach out after encountering negative public narratives find solace in shared stories and encouragement. Healing thrives in spaces where people listen without judgment and encourage nuanced understanding rather than absolutes. Finally, choosing humanity over rage, embracing vulnerability over defensiveness, and embodying truth instead of amplifying shame can create a stronger, truer voice in both personal and public spheres. For anyone hurting or feeling isolated because of public criticism or misunderstanding, know that your experience is valid, your strength is real, and hope is a powerful force on your path forward.
