Spiritual dryness
"It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there: waiting for even the smallest signal of your response, even the smallest suggestion of an invitation that will permit Me to enter."
-"I Thirst" - A letter from Mother Teresa of Calcutta
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As of lately it seems that no matter where I stand in the church, the aisle seems to stretch. Miles grow between me and the tabernacle. Pews multiply and I somehow find myself in very last one. In a recent confession my penance was to repeat "I am chosen". I choked on the words not believing them to be true. How could someone who is "chosen" make herself a stranger in her fathers house. How could I be chosen for motherhood when I feel such a dryness in my daughter hood. Despite the desolation or the false belief that I'm in the last pew of an empty church, the truth is that in that pew my Jesus sits with me, he waits to take my hand and lead me closer to Himself. He waits to put it all back into perspective that I never was miles away. Like St.
Mother Teresa in her letter he stands at the door of my heart not forcing himself in, but waiting. As I pray even in the dryness I find that maybe I too just need to wait. The lies will not last and believing them only blurs the reality that my father is near. I'll wait with Jesus maybe rest my eyes from the illusions and wake up in his arms being carried to the altar. As for now we will wait.
Spiritual dryness is a common but deeply challenging phase in a believer's faith journey, characterized by feelings of emptiness, doubt, or disconnection from God. This experience, often described as the 'dark night of the soul,' tests one's faith and perseverance. Despite its difficulty, spiritual dryness can be a catalyst for deeper spiritual growth and transformation. Mother Teresa’s letter poignantly captures this struggle, expressing how Jesus patiently waits at the door of one’s heart, inviting even the faintest response without forcing entry. This metaphor illustrates the continual presence of divine love, even when personal faith feels weak or absent. The imagery of standing in the last pew, feeling alone or distant from God’s presence, resonates with many who experience this spiritual desolation. Overcoming spiritual dryness involves embracing patience and openness, recognizing that these dry periods are temporary and often a prelude to renewed faith and deeper intimacy with God. Practices such as prayer, meditation, confession, and engaging with scripture can help maintain a connection during these times. Additionally, understanding that feeling 'chosen' or loved by God does not depend on constant emotional experiences but on an unchanging divine promise can provide reassurance. The experience of spiritual dryness also underlines the importance of community and support, such as through church fellowship or spiritual mentorship. Sharing struggles with trusted companions can help believers feel less isolated and encourage perseverance. Ultimately, spiritual dryness invites believers to trust in God's faithful presence behind the veil of silence and to patiently await the renewal of their spiritual life. This period can deepen humility, reliance on God’s grace, and a more mature, resilient faith that sees beyond immediate feelings to the larger spiritual reality.