Is “not everyone will like you” bad advice?
I understand that this is advice has well-meaning intentions. Sometimes people, especially children, may get frustrated over doing their best so a person likes them, but they still don’t. I am not referring to this though. Pretty much everyone who I have met in my life who has uttered something of this nature is a person who is disliked not because they are so great or awesome, but because they have serious character flaws or are just generally an unpleasant person to be around. It seems to me that although this is some advice intended to help people who may be struggling a bit with interpersonal relationship, it has been almost entirely highjacked by people who most definitely should change things about themselves to be more approachable and pleasant but now they can just shake it off with a lame excuse?
It's true that the phrase 'not everyone will like you' has become a bit of an 'unpopular opinion' for me, especially when I see it used as a handy shield. The original article really resonated with my frustration about it being a 'coping mechanism for bad personalities.' But what about the times when this advice actually is helpful? Because let's be honest, there's a fine line between healthy self-acceptance and using it as an excuse to avoid personal growth. I’ve personally grappled with this. There was a period in my life where I felt like I was constantly trying to fit into different molds, hoping to be liked by everyone around me. It was exhausting! When I first heard 'not everyone will like you,' it felt incredibly liberating. It gave me permission to be myself, to set boundaries, and to stop chasing approval from people who genuinely didn't align with my values. In those moments, it wasn't about excusing my flaws; it was about protecting my energy and mental well-being from genuinely toxic relationships or unrealistic expectations. The real challenge, I've found, is distinguishing between constructive feedback about our character and unfair criticism. If multiple people consistently give you similar feedback about a specific behavior – perhaps you're often late, or you tend to dominate conversations – then it might be worth a moment of self-reflection. This isn't about changing who you are fundamentally, but about refining aspects that might genuinely impact your relationships positively. Ignoring such patterns by simply saying 'not everyone will like me' can indeed stunt personal development. On the other hand, if someone dislikes you because you don't fit into their narrow view of the world, or because your success makes them uncomfortable, that's where the advice truly shines. You absolutely don't need to change for someone else's prejudice or insecurity. Learning to differentiate those situations is key. It’s about building a strong sense of self-worth that isn't dependent on universal approval, while still being open to growth and improvement where it genuinely matters. So, while my initial reaction to the phrase leans towards the critical side, especially seeing it misused, I've come to understand its dual nature. It's a powerful statement that can either empower us to embrace our authentic selves or, unfortunately, enable us to overlook areas where we could genuinely become a more pleasant and approachable person. The trick is to use it wisely, not as a blanket excuse, but as a filter to protect your peace while still striving to be your best self. It's truly a journey of self-awareness and discernment.
I think it’s just meant to keep your standards moderate because some people genuinely will hate on you for no reason at all.