How to raise SIBLING BESTIES

Raising siblings to be truly close, those inseparable 'besties,' has been one of my most rewarding challenges as a parent. It's not always easy, but seeing them develop their own unique ways of showing affection and solidarity – what I like to call their 'bestie handshake' – makes every effort worthwhile. This isn't necessarily a literal, secret hand-grip, but rather any special ritual, gesture, or shared understanding that signifies their unique and unbreakable connection. One of the most beautiful ways I’ve seen this bond manifest is through simple acts like holding hands. I remember watching them, a boy and a girl, naturally reach for each other's hands when walking on a slightly unfamiliar sidewalk, providing each other with a sense of safety and comfort. I made sure to praise these moments, reinforcing that they are each other's first and best support system. It teaches them that physical touch can be a powerful expression of care and reassurance. To foster this, we often create shared 'exploration' rituals. Before we embark on a little adventure, like a nature walk or a visit to a new park, we might do a silly little high-five or unique cheer. And afterwards, we'll reflect on how they supported each other, perhaps ending with a celebratory 'bestie handshake' to mark their shared success. These bonding moments are crucial for building shared memories and a sense of teamwork. I also actively praise 'sharing space' and engaging in 'enjoyable activities' together. Whether they’re collaborating on building a fort or simply sitting side-by-side in a 'non-threatening environment' during parallel play, I acknowledge their presence and occasional interactions. After a particularly harmonious play session, I might suggest a special 'secret handshake' just between them to celebrate their cooperation. This reinforces positive interactions and encourages them to value each other’s company. Conflicts are inevitable, but they’re also prime opportunities to teach important life skills like compromise, consideration, and conflict resolution. When my children talk through a disagreement and find a solution, I encourage them to 'shake on it' – whether it's a literal handshake or a symbolic gesture of reconciliation. This teaches them to respect each other's perspectives and rebuild trust, signifying that the conflict is resolved and their friendship is stronger for it. Beyond formal handshakes, we've developed other secret signals and inside jokes. These could be special phrases, funny sounds, or even a particular glance across the room. These are their unique 'bestie' language, strengthening their bond and creating a shared history that only they understand. These small, intentional efforts build emotional safety and comfort, creating a tangible representation of their unique friendship. Ultimately, these steps, from encouraging comforting hand-holding to developing their own unique 'bestie handshake' or secret signals, are all about cultivating a lifelong, loving bond. It teaches them to be supportive with each other, which in turn prepares them to form strong, compassionate relationships with non-relative peers in the future.