signs your situationship will stay a situationship

how it is in the beginning is pretty much how it will always be, even in the long run. my basic rule of thumb is to reflect and ask myself "could i tolerate this person operating in this way for the long run?"

but in my vast knowledge of casual relationships, here's some other ways i know that it's not going to turn into a relationship.

1. i have a lot of doubts in the beginning that i push to the side. doubts are normal, of course, but if i've been seeing someone for just a few weeks and i'm already talking myself into sticking around and seeing it through, it probably ain't it.

2. it's clear they're into me, but the effort isn't there. if they wanted to, they would, period! attraction and intimacy isn't enough, i need to see real effort that shows how much you want to see me and spend time with me.

3. physical intimacy is the only thing keeping me attached. like i said, i get really attached when i sleep with someone, so oftentimes, that's the only thing keeping me around.

follow for more relationship coaching <3

evelyn xoxo

#lemon8partner #lemon8diary #lemon8creator #lemon8wellness #relationshipchallenge #situationships #breakupadvice

2024/1/10 Edited to

... Read moreIt's easy to get caught up in the hope that a situationship will eventually evolve into something meaningful. We've all been there, holding onto tiny glimmers of potential, ignoring the glaring signs that it's simply not going to turn into a relationship. I've learned the hard way that understanding the 'situationship psychology' behind these connections can save you a lot of heartache and wasted time. Let's talk about those initial 'doubts right off-the-bat'. My personal experience has taught me that your gut feeling is rarely wrong. If you find yourself constantly rationalizing their behavior or pushing aside nagging concerns, it’s a huge red flag. True connections shouldn't start with you trying to convince yourself to stay. When I look back, every time I've ignored those early hesitations, the situationship inevitably stalled, proving that my intuition was trying to protect me from the start. Then there’s the 'effort is bare minimum' problem, which is often the biggest barrier to building a genuine emotional connection. It’s not enough for someone to just be 'into you' if their actions don't match. Real effort means consistent communication, making plans that show they value your time, asking about your day, and genuinely wanting to integrate you into their life, even in small ways. If you're always the one initiating, or if their availability is only convenient for them, it's a strong sign they're not ready (or willing) to invest in a deeper bond. I used to make excuses for people, thinking they were just busy, but I realized that when someone truly wants to be with you, they make the effort. Period. And finally, the often-tricky 'physical intimacy and sense of comfort is the only thing keeping me attached'. It's so easy to mistake physical comfort for emotional intimacy. Sleeping with someone can create a powerful bond, a feeling of closeness that can make you overlook the lack of intellectual, emotional, or spiritual connection. I've been in situations where the physical aspect felt amazing, but outside the bedroom, there was no real substance. It felt comfortable, but it wasn't growing. This is a classic trap in situationships, making it hard to see that the connection isn't actually progressing. So, if you're recognizing these signs, what's next? First, it’s crucial to do some honest self-reflection. What do you truly want and need from a relationship? Are those needs being met here? Sometimes, we stay because we're comfortable, or scared of being alone, which are understandable feelings but ultimately not sustainable for genuine happiness. Next, consider having a direct, open conversation. It might feel scary, but clarity is kinder than prolonged ambiguity. Express your feelings and ask about their intentions. Be prepared for their answer, whatever it may be. If their response doesn't align with what you want, or if they continue to be non-committal, then it's time to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Walking away from a comfortable but unfulfilling situationship is a brave act of self-love. It frees you up for a connection that actually meets you where you are and is willing to put in the effort to build something real.

24 comments

sammyweber05's images
sammyweber05

Let’s get rid of situationships in 2024!!! You girls deserve so much better!!! 🤍

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lemon9454292353's images
lemon9454292353

Sextuationship with an emotionally ignorant person keeps you in a monogamous situation. Men just don’t know how to be resourceful interesting as it pertains to dating. We all want and need love and intimacy however they can be barbaric and cold requesting it which turns me and my emotions totally OFF.

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