We are not all in the same race
Six years ago I walked away from a career when Julian was born. I initially planned to take 1 year off — but 人算不如天算. Life had other ideas. And so did we.
I didn't have a plan at first and our family is blessed to be able to make decisions like this. We wanted to be more present for his growing up, and I wanted to build something that meant something to me. And honestly — I needed a sense of purpose outside of motherhood too. Both things were true.
My peers kept going. They're miles ahead now, if we're measuring by the usual things — titles, salary, trajectory. And I'm here, packing busy books and designing bags and picking Julian up from school.
Here's what I know.
Their life was never my blueprint. We don't want the same things. What fills them up doesn't fill me the same way — and that's not a consolation. That's just the truth.
There are still moments I feel the pull of comparison. The quiet thought that maybe I'm unaccomplished, that maybe I should have more to show.
I notice it. And then I let it go.
Because I love this version of me. And I'm not going to let someone else's definition of enough change what I think about my own life.
And I want Julian not to carry these invisible expectations of others either. I want him to lead a life that is his, that fulfils him, not someone else. What people think of him doesn't change a thing about him and my love for him. I want his happiness to derive from within, and to learn what my dad taught me (which i remembered but only really learnt much later) - 知足常乐.
You're not behind. You're just on a different road.
What does your version of enough actually look like — when nobody else is watching?
Taking a step back from traditional career paths to focus on family and personal fulfillment is a bold choice that often challenges societal expectations. From my own experience, I’ve seen how stepping off the typical track can initially feel like falling behind, but it can also lead to building a life that aligns deeply with personal values and happiness. The comparison trap is one many of us fall into, especially when surrounded by peers chasing titles and pay raises. But the truth is, what drives one person doesn't necessarily satisfy another. Finding joy in the small, meaningful moments—like being present for your child’s growth or creating something with your own hands—can provide a profound sense of purpose that conventional success metrics might not capture. It's also crucial to recognize that others' opinions or societal standards don’t define your worth or achievement. Accepting your unique journey allows you to release the invisible pressures and expectations that can weigh heavily on parents and creators alike. This mindset shift encourages a sense of contentment and self-love, fostering happiness that comes from within rather than external validation. Additionally, teaching children to value their own authentic paths—rather than conforming to others’ definitions of success—helps cultivate resilience and genuine fulfillment. Embracing philosophies like 中国's 知足常乐 (contentment brings happiness) enriches this perspective, guiding us to appreciate what we have and who we are. Ultimately, success is personal and fluid. By living intentionally and at your own pace, you can find a version of ‘enough’ that feels right for you, turning what might look like a detour into an empowering, meaningful journey.