So I Lied…

I stumbled upon this 'So I Lied…' concept, and honestly, it hit home harder than I expected. We all have those little white lies, don't we? Not necessarily malicious ones, but more like self-deceptions or portrayals of ourselves that aren't quite 100% accurate. I know I've been guilty of it more times than I can count, especially when it comes to defining my own personality. Take 'loving solitude,' for instance. For the longest time, I'd tell people (and myself) that I was perfectly content being alone, that I thrived in my own company. And don't get me wrong, I cherish my me-time. But the truth? I also crave connection, deep conversations, and the energy of friends. It was a lie I told myself to appear strong and independent, maybe a little mysterious. But now, I'm realizing that admitting I love both solitude and company isn't a weakness; it's just being real. Then there's the whole 'staying up late' thing. I used to think it made me seem cool, productive, or maybe just a night owl. In reality, I'm a morning person who occasionally pushes herself to burn the midnight oil for deadlines or social events, only to regret it deeply the next morning! It's funny how we create these narratives about ourselves, isn't it? We build these personas, sometimes without even realizing it, based on what we think others expect or what we wish we were. Another big one for me? The idea of 'feeling deeply.' I’ve always been someone who feels emotions intensely, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, I’ve tried to downplay it, to pretend I’m more stoic or less affected by things. It felt like a way to protect myself, to avoid being seen as 'too emotional.' But honestly, embracing that depth of feeling is part of who I am, and trying to suppress it just made me feel inauthentic. And who can forget the 'attention' aspect? I used to say I hated being the center of attention, but secretly, a little positive recognition felt good. It's not about being an attention-seeker, but rather acknowledging that human beings naturally appreciate being seen and heard. It's a subtle difference, but an important one to understand about myself. So, why do we tell these 'lies'? I think it comes down to a mix of things: societal pressures, personal insecurities, and sometimes, just a simple desire to fit an ideal. We might lie to ourselves to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths, or we might lie to others to manage their perceptions of us. But what happens when 'so I lied' becomes a constant refrain in our own heads? It can lead to a disconnect, a feeling of not being truly known or understood, even by ourselves. My journey lately has been about peeling back those layers. It's about recognizing those moments when I’m about to say something that isn't entirely true to my core self. It’s challenging, for sure. It means being vulnerable and accepting all parts of who you are, even the parts you once thought you had to hide or change. But the freedom that comes with authenticity? It's incredible. It's like finally exhaling after holding your breath for years. If you're also on a path of uncovering your own 'So I Lied' moments, know that you're not alone. It's a brave step towards living a more genuine and fulfilling life.