✨Get to know me✨

Vulnerability…

I felt I would do this caption idea because where I come from, and where I am today, are completely two different places. I thought, “there’s no better way to introduce myself than getting a bit vulnerable”. I can do that on this app and feel comfortable. So..this isn’t even 10% of my life of course, but I am a writer and am going to try my best to keep the story short, but informative enough to know exactly where it is I came from. Also, I’d love feedback. I have books I’ve written about my life and I would love to publish my writings someday. I also write poetry. I haven’t been writing recently and I want to get inspired to write again. This is my first time posting something publicly about my writing ever. Let me know if you would like to hear more. I have absolutely CRAZY stories for days.

Otayyyy here we go…

🤍 My Story: I was born in Miami, Florida on September 25th, 1992. YES, I am 31 years old. People tell me I look 16 all the time, but I am not complaining. My parents are Susan and Harry, and my brothers name is Jonathan. He is 3 years older than me. I never starved as a kid, my parents didn’t get divorced, I always had Xmas presents under the tree, and we were comfortable growing up by all means. I’m trying to keep this story pretty short so, I’ll just dump the heavy stuff now. I was molested as a child and it started when I was about 6 years old until I was 12 years old. During this time, my mom was heavily drinking every single day. My dad had to deal with disciplinary actions while my mom was wasted and I had to grow up pretty fast watching this. By the time I was 7, I could look at my mom for 2 seconds and know if she was drunk. A lot of things happened but fast forward to when my mom got sober. I was 14. I filled up 3 drawers with her empty vodka bottles that she would hide everywhere. One day, when she was sober enough to comprehend the severity of the situation, I took her to my room, opened all the drawers and said “Look what you’re doing to our family”. Shortly after that she got sober and hasn’t had a drink since. Ironically though, that is when I started to experiment with drugs & alcohol and developed an intense anxiety disorder and a strange phobia of vomit/vomiting/people vomiting around me. By 15, I was doing coke, Xanax, and taking ecstasy every weekend. My first time rolling, was on a Wednesday (a school night) with my best friend since kindergarten, Kristin. We were in a fucking Starbucks/cold stone plaza and I definitely freaked out. Again, so much happened, my brother ultimately came and picked me up. I went into his room saw colors and blacked out and overdosed in front of my parents. School was out of the question for 3 days and I had a scab on my nose from rubbing a towel on my face so hard while I was rolling on ecstasy..on a school night..for my first time..and oh by the way, I took a quad stack. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s 4 pills of ecstasy in one. YEAH. I know. For most of my teenage years and early 20s I partied very hard..TOO HARD, but I also forgot about being molested. I use to think it was bull shit that peoples brains block traumatic events from their memory when I was younger but I quickly realized that it was true one night when I was tripping on psychedelics. I suddenly remembered everything…Thankfully I was with one of my best friends who probably is the only person that could make me laugh during that moment. And he did. And everything as okay…until the drugs wore off. Days and days would go by and that’s all I thought about. This is the moment I think that changed the course of my life for the worse…

I want to keep writing but I also want to see if anyone wants to know more. That is only the beginning and also there’s so many details missing. I could use this platform for my writing or multiple things. Who knows. I am new and I’m just going too see what happens. If nothing happens, at least I tried. I don’t wanna spoil anything either but the story gets way, WAY more chaotic and actually pretty fucking unbelievable. I will at least leave some key words to let you know what to expect if I continue writing. I will say first these key words are explicit to an extent and I don’t condone or romanticize any of these things whatsoever but it’s simply part of my story. Any words that include anything to do with violence or abuse were done to me. Glimpse keywords: extremely hard drugs (crack,heroin, even flaka🙄), kidnapping, prostitution, extreme violence, guns, gangs, sexual violence, mental/emotional/verbal abuse.

I think you get the gist of it…

For the record, I am now over a year sober, very much in love with the sweetest boy I’ve ever met and in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I have a place to call my own. Two kitties as trial babies for my boyfriend and I 😂 we want to get married in the next couple of years. My family and I have a beautiful relationship. I have 3 little nephews and my life is perfect. Well, far from perfect but I guess what I’m trying to say is…the things I’ve been through and where I’m at today is a miracle. And if this post helps ONE person at all, that’s all I could ever ask for. If you are struggling with addiction IT IS POSSIBLE. I am living proof of it. And wait to you hear the rest of my story…you’ll soon know why where I am today is a miracle.

Otay that’s enough for now. Love you guys (whoever I’m talking to) lol

🌼🧃🔫🍓🛸🍄✨💌😂👹🎃😵‍💫

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