Dating at 30: Episode 1
Chile, listen… I spent my 20’s living my very best young-adult life. When it came to a good time, I had it - sometimes it had me 😂
Now that I’m 31, I’m practicing intentional dating. I’ve always been a lover girl. One of my goals during this decade is finding a partner to experience life with. But baby, this dating pool is so contaminated with pee, poop, and throw up too!
This “Dating at 30” series includes story time episodes of my crazy dating life. Take what you’d like for your own dating journey or leave some feedback for me if you think I have area for improvement. So get ready for this ride!
I want you all to meet Bobbie. I met him at a party I went to at the end of September. We’ll nickname him Mr. Excuses because he’s full of them, or full of sh— 🤷🏾♀️ In the 2 months of knowing him, he’s broken every promise he’s made.
For example, here’s where it started. For my birthday, he offered to take me out. This man literally went to a football game with his teen daughter an hour away, FaceTimed me around 12pm to tell me happy birthday (while at the game), and I didn’t hear from him again until 1am saying that he wasn’t coming back locally that night! He claims he didn’t come back because he got too drunk.
Now listen, I’m far from dumb. I already know the probability of what really happened, but I just go with his word because I technically have no proof of anything else. With that being said, I ended up telling him about himself. And although that was the 🚩, I let him get another chance of communication with me because he took actions to make up for messing up (he took me on a lunch date).
That went on for literally 1 week before he let me down twice within the next 7 days! So, I told him about himself again and told him I would be cordial. Recently, he asked to take me out to a comedy show. Little did I know, I was the joke! Because what happened? Of course, I didn’t hear from him the rest of that day until the next day! So, he got cussed out and blocked.
Listen, you never have to ask a 38-year-old man to communicate with you. That’s not even bare minimum. Communication is something you literally HAVE to do every day of your life. If he can’t simply talk to you, he doesn’t respect you and he obviously doesn’t like you. If he was really interested in you, you would be amongst the top things on his priorities list because he would want to know more about you! If I have to talk to you about communication more than once, it gives too much like begging for your attention. The man I desire will be more than interested in me!
Now, friends, tell me, how would you have handled the situation? Would you have entertained him still after the make-up lunch date? Or would you have just took the lunch and gifts then gone on your way? Hell, would you have taken him up on the lunch at all? What do you think he really has going on?
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Dating in your 30s can be both exciting and challenging as we seek meaningful relationships while navigating a complicated landscape. As we grow older, expectations shift, and the tolerance for unsatisfactory communication decreases. It's important to prioritize self-respect and establish clear boundaries early on. The dating pool often feels overwhelming, filled with potential partners who may not align with our goals. Evaluating compatibility is more crucial than ever; we should feel valued and respected by our partners. Communication remains vital without having to beg for attention or affection. Learning from past experiences, like those encountered with 'Mr. Excuses,' offers vital insights into what to avoid in future dates. Engaging in reflective conversations with yourself or friends can provide perspective and help clarify what you truly desire. Remember, the right partner will respect your time and efforts, ensuring both communication and shared experiences are fulfilling. In this new era of dating, using tools like personal reflection aids in identifying priorities and red flags sooner rather than later. Sharing stories and seeking advice from others can clarify your path and reinforce your dating standards. As you embark on this journey, harness the lessons from past relationships to guide you toward more meaningful connections in the future, helping you thrive in this complex dating landscape.
This was very enlightening 😞