If you can't share your suffering, don't call your partner.

Secrets of lasting relationships

What is the meaning of a partner? The most satisfying short answer is "safe space." If you are in a relationship that has to hide your tears or pretend to be strong all the time because you are afraid that the other person will not be able to cope with your suffering, it may not be a life partner, but a "parallel" that walks beside each other but never fuses your feelings, having a partner means having someone who is ready to listen to your worst day without judgment and ready to embrace your vulnerability with understanding.

Why is sharing suffering more important than sharing happiness?

In the social world, we often see couples portraying luxury meals or short-term Pleasure trips, but in the real world, long-term Relationship is created in the "valley of suffering." When we reveal fear or failure to the other person, it is the ultimate Emotional Intimacy or emotional intimacy. If we choose to share happiness, we only know each other "shell," but when we share suffering, we allow them to see the "core" of our identity.

A View from a Psychologist: The Power of Exposing Vulnerability

According to renowned psychology researcher, "Vulnerability" is not a weakness, but the beginning of true love and bonding. There is also a study from The Gottman Institute that has studied couples for decades. Successful couples experience a behavior called "Turning Towards," which is to face each other when one of the parties signals for emotional help. If your partner often ignores distress, that's the danger sign of a relationship that can eventually lead to a breakup.

How to Fix It: Turn Silence into a Remedy

If you feel unwilling to share your suffering, let's start with these three steps:

1️⃣ Check-in Feelings: Let's ask each other once a week, "Have you been troubling lately?" to create a routine safe space.

2️⃣ Training to Be an Active Listening: When the other person tells of suffering, don't rush to offer a Solution to start with "Validation," like, "I understand it's exhausting."

3️⃣ Non-judgmental zone: Make him confident that no matter how much he fails, he will always have you by his side.

Conclusion: A proof of the word soul mate.

In the end, love doesn't measure how many times you laugh together, but it says, "On the day you cry, who is the person you dare call first without inventing words?" If you can't share your suffering with the person next to you, try to talk seriously, because the real partner is the one who is ready to walk through the mud with you, not the one who waits to see you only when you wash yourself clean.

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