Inspired by his discipline, hurt by his actions 🤕
My bf ( Now, ex) once said, “I worked hard to become the chairperson of VJCO.”
I do agree with that.
I was a vice-chairperson of my CCA back in secondary school, and I also worked hard to earn that position.
My CCA teachers trusted me, saw how much I grew, and believed in me as a leader.
Honestly, everyone works hard to become who they are today.
Even if some people have connections, they still have to put in effort.
For him, he plays a Chinese instrument in CO, and I genuinely believe he worked very hard to reach the point of becoming chairperson.
I still remembered him telling me that his parents used his strengths to help him DSA into a secondary school, which shows he had potential and was willing to strive.
Nothing comes easy.
I also play a Chinese instrument, not the same one as his, and I do admire his determination.
He practiced every day even when his wrist was hurting.
Meanwhile, when my hands get painful, I tend to stop for a few days.
So yes, I acknowledge his effort and discipline.
But despite all that, I don’t know why he ended up treating me like a Barbie doll, using my feelings and not respecting me.
Maybe he looked down on me, or maybe I was just temporary to him.
But honestly, isn’t it basic respect to not ask inappropriate questions when you already have a gf?
I gave him a second chance because I believed he could learn from his mistake.
But he didn’t.
He repeated the same behaviour, lied, and cheated on me.
And instead of taking responsibility, he blamed me for his own inappropriate questions twice.
My point isn’t to attack him.
My point is that everyone works hard in their own way, and life isn’t easy for anyone.
But even if someone is hardworking, it doesn’t excuse bad behaviour.
He didn’t learn from his mistakes, and he kept blaming me for what he chose to do.
Having participated in co-curricular activities (CCA) during my school days, I deeply relate to the commitment required to hold leadership roles like chairperson or vice-chairperson. Leadership is more than just titles – it’s about earning trust, demonstrating discipline, and balancing responsibilities. For example, being part of a Chinese orchestra or similar CCA involves daily practice and overcoming physical and mental challenges, much like the author’s ex-boyfriend’s dedication in VJCO Chinese Orchestra. From personal experience, the strain on wrists or hands when playing an instrument is common, and the persistence to continue practicing despite pain reflects true determination. However, it’s also crucial to recognize one’s limits to prevent injury, something I’ve had to learn the hard way. While it’s inspiring to witness such discipline, it is equally important that this dedication is coupled with integrity and respect — especially in personal relationships. What stood out in this story was the contrast between the boyfriend’s hard-earned leadership role and his disrespectful behavior towards the author. It highlights a painful truth: professional or extracurricular success doesn’t automatically translate into emotional maturity or ethical behavior. It reminds me of how, in any leadership position, respect and accountability are fundamental. Leaders must model good behavior, not just be task-oriented or status-driven. This experience resonates with many who juggle ambition and emotional wellbeing. It’s a tough lesson that even the most disciplined individuals can make poor personal choices, and such mistakes shouldn’t be excused by their achievements. In fact, true leadership involves owning up to errors and growing from them, something sadly lacking in the author's case. To anyone navigating similar challenges, my advice is to cherish your own growth and hard work but never tolerate being undermined or disrespected. Leadership and talent are admirable but kindness and honesty are non-negotiable. Reflecting on this story encourages us all to balance pursuing our ambitions with nurturing healthy, respectful relationships.