To all the girls dating online: please ask around
Sometimes, life is just teaching you a lesson about boundaries, self love, and self respect.
Loving him deeply was one thing, being accepted by his parents was another problem.
No point pretending that the puzzle can fit when I have taken the wrong 🧩 piece and tried to force it in the first place.
Usually, I don't like talking negatively about someone, so this post is more about being careful when dating someone you met online.
I'm just here to share some tips.
Back then, I did ask someone about his personality, but the answer I got was quite vague.
I didn’t probe further because I wasn’t even close to the person I asked.
My female friend once told me that guys from all boys school likes to play with people’s feelings, but I didn’t want to believe it because I thought, “How bad could it really be?”
I mean, boys are generally curious, but I didn’t realise how damaging certain behaviours could be in real life.
Yep, I definitely regretted not listening to the subtle hints people gave me about him.
The answer I got back then was vague, but maybe he was trying to hint something without saying too much.
So honestly, if you’re dating someone, it’s okay to ask people who know them, friends, schoolmates, classmates just to understand their personality better.
Though sometimes jealousy exists too, and people may tell you not to date someone for their own reasons, only to end up dating them themselves.
So at the end of the day, 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨.
There are also times when parents 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧.
If that happens, 𝐫𝐮𝐧.
Because if unhealthy behaviour is constantly supported, the relationship can become emotionally damaging.
Loving him deeply was one thing, but when the people around him support that behaviour, you really have to ask yourself:
Are you willing to sacrifice loving yourself just because you still love him?
He definitely has more than 8 gfs as of now....
As of now, he has another gf. 💀
He probably "dated" me because he felt lonely, not because he loved me.
His relationship never lasts long for most of the relationship he has been because he has been changing his gf, for most of his gf, it lasts for only 3 months.
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FEEL LOVED, NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED HIS PARTNER.
From my personal experience with online dating, I learned that trusting your intuition is just as crucial as gathering information about the person you're interested in. When I first started dating someone I met online, I hesitated to ask around beyond a casual inquiry because I didn’t want to seem suspicious or intrusive. However, the vague answers I received were subtle signals that I missed at the time. In the world of online dating, appearances can be deceiving. People often present themselves as they wish to be seen, which sometimes masks underlying issues such as emotional unavailability or toxic behaviors. One important lesson I learned is that it’s okay—actually, necessary—to check with people who know the person well. Friends, classmates, or even casual acquaintances can provide insights into temperament, habits, and past relationship patterns that might not be obvious from conversations alone. I was warned by a friend that certain backgrounds (like attending all-boys schools) might influence someone’s attitude toward relationships negatively. Initially, I dismissed it, thinking it was just a stereotype. But unfortunately, I experienced firsthand how harmful some behaviors can be—especially when supported or ignored by those close to that person, including family members. Toxic dynamics, when upheld by a partner’s social circle or family, can deeply impact your emotional well-being. If you notice that people around your partner enable or excuse hurtful behavior, it’s a big red flag. Sometimes, love makes us want to hold on and hope for change, but preserving your self-respect and self-love should always come first. Remember, it’s not just about loving someone—it’s about being loved and respected by them and their support system. Lastly, be aware that jealousy or personal biases may color others’ opinions about your partner. Some may discourage you from dating someone for their own reasons, so keep an open mind but listen intently to your gut feeling. Balancing external advice with your instincts will help you make wiser choices and avoid emotional harm. Dating online taught me that putting boundaries around what you tolerate, seeking honest feedback, and trusting your intuition are essential steps in protecting your heart. If there’s ever any indication that a relationship is causing you to lose sight of your self-worth, it’s okay—and necessary—to step away. Love yourself enough to recognize when to run, especially when toxic behavior is reinforced by those closest to your partner.
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