I Moved States for My Marriage…

Tonight I found out the girl I was always told ā€œnot to worry aboutā€ is the same girl my husband’s been having an affair with. I knew something was off from the moment I met her years ago, just a gut feeling he kept brushing off as ā€œnothing.ā€

We moved from California to Denver because he swore it was a fresh start, promised he’d change, promised stability. I left my job, my family, everything I’d built… only to realize he’d been lying the whole time. I’m pretty sure he was already with her before I even moved here.

And now she’s around my kids, acting like part of the family, while we’re not even legally divorced.

I’m hurt and angry. And honestly, I just feel stupid for believing him. Has anyone dealt with similar situations? What did you do in the end?

#AskLemon8 #letschat #relationship #marriage #relationshipadvice

2025/11/19 Edited to

... Read moreMoving to a new state for marriage is a huge life change that involves leaving behind familiar surroundings, support systems, and often a career or community. This makes the impact of discovering infidelity particularly painful, as it comes alongside feelings of isolation and broken trust. Many who experience such situations describe a mix of shock, hurt, and confusion, wondering how to move forward when their hopes for a fresh start are shattered. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors. Sharing your experience in communities, such as relationship advice forums or support groups, can provide both emotional relief and practical perspectives. Some find it helpful to discuss strategies for protecting their children’s well-being, especially when the affair partner is involved in their lives. Documenting your situation can also be crucial if legal action like divorce or custody decisions become necessary. Consulting with legal professionals specialized in family law helps ensure your rights and your children's best interests are safeguarded. Remember, while your spouse may have planned a separate life with another woman, your priority is rebuilding stability for yourself and your family. This can mean establishing boundaries, focusing on personal growth, and eventually creating a new support network in your current location. If you’ve been in a similar position, consider what helped you heal: Was it therapy, new friendships, or time? Often, healing involves small steps toward reclaiming your happiness and trust in others. You’re not alone in facing such hardships, and sharing your story can inspire others going through the same struggle.

1 comment

Rebekah Cardinale's images
Rebekah Cardinale

You aren’t stupid for wanting to believe him it’s him who has a problem. But you should let me he will never change and he will be moved on before your divorce is done most likely.