🪑☕ THEY DIDN’T WANT FRIENDSHIP🗣️THEY WANTED ACCESS 👀🚪
Big Mama Said: “When the Benefits Stop, Watch Who Disappears.”
Baby, this conversation might clear a few rocking chairs off the porch. And you know what? LET ’EM GET UP. 😂👋🏾
Some people aren’t building a friendship with you. They’re building access to you.
Access to your information. 🗣️
Access to your resources. 💰
Access to your connections. 🤝🏾
Access to your knowledge. 🧠
Access to the rooms your name can get them into. 🚪
Then the minute you stop giving, sharing, connecting, fixing, introducing, or explaining suddenly their energy changes.
👵🏾 Big Mama said:
“Pudding, stop confusing people needing what you have with people loving who you are.” ☕️💯
That’s where discernment comes in.
Pay attention to who checks on your heart versus who checks on what you know.
Who celebrates you when there’s nothing in it for them?
Who respects your “no” without catching an attitude?
Who can sit beside you without needing something from you?
That’s friendship. ❤️
And baby, we’re not joining the pick-me crowd just to have people around us. 🙅🏾♀️ I’m not over-giving, gossiping, performing, shrinking myself, or handing out unlimited access just so somebody will choose me.
Sometimes spiritual maturity looks like saying:
“I love you, but you don’t get access to me anymore.” ✂️🚪
Cutting somebody off isn’t always bitterness. Sometimes it’s finally accepting what their behavior has been showing you.
And if I lose folks because of this conversation?
BYE. 👋🏾😂 Don’t let that front gate hit you on your way out.
I’d rather have three genuine people sitting on my porch than thirty people hanging around waiting for something they can use. 🪑☕️❤️
📖 Psalm 26:4–5 reminds us to be mindful of the company we keep and where we choose to sit.
🙏🏾 Prayer:
Ancestors, sharpen my discernment without hardening my heart. Show me who genuinely values me and who only values their access to me. Give me courage to close doors without guilt and wisdom to recognize the people who deserve a seat at my table. Surround me with reciprocal, loving, honest friendships. Ashe. 🙏🏾❤️🩹
👵🏾 Big Mama’s final word:
“Everybody who knows where your porch is don’t deserve a rocking chair on it. Some folks need to stay right there by the gate.” 😂🚪🪑
When you stop being useful to some people, you’ll discover whether you ever mattered to them in the first place. 💯
#FriendshipOrAccess #BigMamaWisdom #DiscernmentMatters #ProtectYourPeace #FrontPorchConversations
Navigating relationships can be challenging, especially when it feels like some people are more interested in what you can offer than who you truly are. From personal experience, I’ve realized that setting clear boundaries is essential to maintaining emotional well-being. When you begin to notice that people only reach out when they need something—be it information, introductions, or favors—that’s a sign to pause and reflect. One powerful technique that helped me was regularly assessing who celebrates my successes genuinely and who only appears when there’s a benefit to gain. Genuine friends check on your heart and value you beyond what you provide. They accept your 'no' without resentment and appreciate your presence even in moments of silence or vulnerability. I've found that spiritual maturity often requires saying, "I love you, but you don’t get access to me anymore," as tough as it sounds. This approach isn't about bitterness but about protecting your energy and preserving space for reciprocal and honest relationships. It’s liberating to focus on those few sincere individuals who truly deserve a seat at your table rather than trying to please everyone around you. Lastly, drawing inspiration from spiritual wisdom, like Psalm 26:4–5, reminds us to be mindful of the company we keep. Trusting your discernment and listening to your heart can guide you to cultivate relationships that nurture your growth and peace.
Amen🔥